How does this letter sound?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
How does this letter sound?
20
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 5:50pm

okay- ya'll help me out- I have to let this guy know what's going on- and I want to give him one last shot.....I don't do well with telephone discussions, plus he's sick- so what if I sent this to him?The tone is supposed to be light and drama free? Any suggestions to put in or take out???? Thanks!

Hey Dallas-

I hope your feeling better. I know you asked me to give you a call, but I’m not sure if you would be passed out on cold medicine or not. So, I am writing you a little note. I have had a few things on my mind, and I just thought I would share them with you, if you don’t mind…. I completely understand that Saturday night your parents bailed on you for babysitting M*, and I also understand that you had a mandatory meeting yesterday and that is why you couldn’t meet for lunch, and I am totally on the same page with you about canceling lunch again today because you are sick…. What I would like to be clear on is whether or not we are on the same page as far as dating is concerned? I am all about spontaneity and flexibility, but I am also all about respect for other people’s time and their availability. I am not upset about the past few cancellations, but as I told you before, if I am supposed to be taking a hint, then let me know. Otherwise, I am left hanging out there in “huh?” land…. Does that make any sense? I enjoy spending time with you and I think you have many attractive qualities, I just wanted you to know that. I would have waited and shared this with you in person, but I don’t exactly know when the next time will be. =)
I hope your doing better and getting some rest!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 8:46pm

And maybe I was doing a little of yelling at myself for doing a similar thing in the past :(

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 8:57pm

Been in your shoes and it does suck. And I wish I hadn't sent the same kind of email or called or whatever. Begging feels pretty pathetic. This is why dating many rather than few helps you not feel this way.

Don't be so hard on yourself. We've all done this and learned. Just trying to help you. Part of me wants to tell you to send it so you'll know first hand. And maybe you really have. In that case, it's just prolonging the inevitable.

I know how you feel is all I'm trying to say. I hope one of the other bachelors steps up to the plate now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:00pm

thanks, I appreciate that.
I just hate coming across like I am a b!tch to men. I know he wasn't going to take me up on my offer to bring him soup, but I had to offer. I have a horrible tendency to take care of people. I do it to everyone... if my worse enemy got hit by a car, I would take my shirt off and cove them up... I just am not a mean person, and not that ignoring him is mean, I just want him to know, "hey, we can be friends if the dating thing doesn't work out"... but I agree I don't know why he cancelled three times, yes I am extremely frustrated by it, and I guess I am so sick of men acting this way. Did I expect him to tell me "yes, take a hint"... honestly, yes, I guess b/c we don't know each other that well, I don't want to waste my time and if someone else asked me the same straight forwrd question, especially in an email, i would be honest and say yes or no...
What would he have to lose? And I guess I was thinking, "what do I have to lose?"

OLD can get a little boring.... I can see where the frustration comes in and then you give up...oh well, the good news is that Bachelor #3 and I talked again last night for an hour... I'm just waiting for him to ask me out. I have a feeling he is shy...

Thanks for the input, Jenny, now I know how to take you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:00pm
No have not sent it and don't intend to... it's been deleted! =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:10pm
Good for you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:10pm

Good for you! The man obviously is not a "time" person. Being anal about time, I am of course surrounded by those who place no importance on it! It can be sooo irritating.

I'm only sorry because I know you liked him. And I'm glad to hear you are striking up a convo with another bachelor.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:14pm

One thing I've read on a few relationship message boards around here is that 'you teach people how to treat you.'

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:55pm
You GO girl! I can't tell you how many times I've practically needed to be hog tied to keep from sending one of those emails. But, you know what? I have never regretted it later!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:08am
I have such a hard time with not overwelming a guy that I have gone to extreme measures....like deleting all his phone and email addresses...that way I can't spam him. he has to email me first....But I have gotten much better over the last couple of relationships. I almost think it has been long enough that I can say I have a new behavior. I wait for them and I don't crowd...hard lesson to learn, as much as we hate needy men they hate needy women. confidence is sexy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 7:31pm

I'll concede that I haven't read the other replies yet, but I just have to say "STOP."

CHILL.

You are making a gigantic deal out of this; I was exhausted just reading it and I'm not even the intended recipient!

I guarantee he will only read the first few lines, think you are nuts, and drive on.

Please find more men to date so you can take the focus off of him.

If he wants to see you, he will make a FIRM date, with time and place established, and he will actually show up.

Tracy

Pages