How Long DO you wait then?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
How Long DO you wait then?
22
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 12:30am

Hi Y'all,

Of course, since I am now known as the Southern distributor of enticing sex queries here, let's go for another one! :)

If you like someone, and you go out for a while, how Long do you wait to have sex with them? True that you might not, like me, be the kind to go right at it and do 'throwdown sex',because you are afraid that the man will think you do that with Every date you have? I want to get to know the man, but what is a reasonable time frame for that?

Can one 'play' below the Levi's waistband,or do you stick to just kissing til then?

what say you?

Truly,
Cupcake




Edited 3/15/2005 1:31 am ET ET by cupcakechic

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 03-16-2005 - 10:17pm

Hi Cupcake,

>>If you like someone, and you go out for a while, how Long do you wait to have sex with them?<<

You have received some good responses. I feel there are so many factors that can influence the decision of when is the right time to have sex in a relationship and yes, it does vary for each couple.

I know there are people who have slept together right away and the relationship worked and they stayed together, but I would have to say from my own experience and that of my friends, usually when we have pursued sex fairly quickly, the guy usually hasn't stuck around much after that, even the ones who prequalify it with "I don't think different about ladies who have sex right away...

I still think that basically most guys feel that if you sleep with them soon, you will also do that with any guy - so by waiting some they feel they are special and you aren't sleazy. Yet it's a double standard because guys are not thought of as being sleazy as much as women when they sleep with someone so soon, it's like it's expected that they will do that. If it's right between two people, it doesn't seem like it should matter how long they wait to have sex, it's their own decision.

From my own experience, in the relationship I am in now (it's been 2 months), we waited and I'm glad we did. I wanted to do things in a way which felt right, and waiting was it. I think he respected me more and I did him also as he wasn't tryng to push me into having sex so quickly as we were getting to know eachother. There was alot of kissing, hugging, caressing, etc. and about a week before sex, the touching increased but we still avoided below the waistband. But that was just what felt right for us.

I felt I had to get to know him more to see if he was a man I wanted to share such intimacy with. I'm glad I made the decision I did.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 12:45am

I think the answer to that question is in how you view sex. In other words, there is no answer. Is sex something you want to reward him with when he meets some criteria? Is sex something you want to reward yourself with because you'd like to be intimate with someone? Is there some other reason to engage in sex or forgoe it? It depends on what you want.

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