How Long Does it Take/Get Over Him
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How Long Does it Take/Get Over Him
| Thu, 10-20-2005 - 5:19pm |
I know there isn't a set time length, but how long does it take you to make peace with yourself and your ex-significant other? How long do you hang on to bitterness? And when should a person seek professional counseling when you can't seem to get over a break-up?
Lastly, does online dating make it easier to move on to someone else? I keep thinking that the guy I really liked thought I was just so "replaceable" because he could always go back online and find "another".

I have found that the rule of thumb that it takes about half the time you were in the relationship to be pretty accurate, at least for relationships of up to two years or so. Longer relationships--I'd say roughly a year plus a month or so for every year you were in the relationship over two years. Of course this is a VERY general rule of thumb and everyone is different, but I've found it's pretty accurate. One caveat though: if you're in contact with your ex, the time periods go out the window...I don't think you CAN really get over someone while being in touch with them.
The bitterness goes away, I've found, when you reach acceptance...acceptance that it's over and that the two of you aren't right for each other. And generally, you don't reach acceptance until the end of the recovery/grieving process.
I would say that counseling would be a good idea if you find that you're not making progress...that you're feeling just as bad today as you were the day of the breakup, for example, or if the rule of thumb time frame has past and you're not feeling well on your way to recovery.
I can't really speak as to the last issue...I'm sure it does for some people but I would question how healthy that is.
Sheri
I have very little experience with this.
They say it takes 6 months to a year to get over somebody.
I guess it could vary from person to person.
It took me about 9 months to get over somebody that I was involved with
about a year ago even though we were only together for 3 months..
It takes longer if that person still has some type of contact with the "ex".