How long before a guy asks to meet

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
How long before a guy asks to meet
4
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 12:29pm

I've been emailing back and forth with this one guy who seems really nice. We have a lot in common, and the emails are very relaxed. Problem is, they are so relaxed there doesn't seem to be any forward momentum on the meeting side. (I like to skip the whole phone part). Will some guys just be on there to talk with you, but not be interested in meeting you? I know that sometimes I'll talk to some people with that in mind. It's not something I'm against, just I don't want to get my hopes up.

I know that I could very well ask to meet him, but from my experience things go badly when I try to control the timeline.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 12:44pm

It's alarming how frequently this happens - two people emailing forever. I think a lot of people are reluctant to change things if they are having fun.

It comes down to this: if you are satisfied with an email pal, then go with it. If you are interested in dating someone, and he's not asking you out, then you need to either drop him or take charge of the *timetable* as you call it. A quick line along the lines of "I am enjoying our conversations. Are you interested in getting together for a coffee?" His reply will tell you what you need to know.

I am curious as to what you meant by "from my experience things go badly when I try to control the timeline." If you believe this is true, then search/replace the word *control* with "lead". Attitude is everything.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 1:03pm
If there's the slightest chance you are going to want to be romantic with this guy - meet sooner rather than later. Just think of how you'd feel if you emailed for 6 months every day and met and one or both of you didn't feel the connection. You'd probably think the emailing was a huge waste of time....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 1:21pm

I have to agree with both amjay & lg's responses. Also, I can speak from my own very recent experience that I had, that there are some men online that are just looking for online female chat buddies!
I spent 3 weeks emailing and IMng a guy and when it came time to meet, he never followed through with our dinner date meet ! And it came as no surprize that he stopped writing immediately thereafter. In retrospect, I have figured out that the guy probably had a steady girlfriend etc.

Don't make the same mistake I did. If you are interested in him as a potential date mate, Definatley start moving the written conversations toward meeting in person. You will find out real fast if the man you speak of is in fact trully available (physically & emotionally) or just playing "lets chat" with you. LM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 4:50pm
Interesting thread.
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