How long have you been doing OLD?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
How long have you been doing OLD?
13
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 6:21am

I'm going into my third year with OLD, and just wondered how many years (or months, LOL) others have been doing it? Have you had any relationships with men you've met online?

I have taken a few breaks, but for the majority of the time, I've had my profile visible. It's been slow this year--I haven't met even one guy. I haven't been on a date since September. I'm 55, BTW.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 11:03am

I thought you might be interested in this, even though it doesn't answer your question. On the radio today, I heard that the founder of monster.com has started a new dating site for over 40 people--it's called meetcha.com. I don't know if it's national yet--since he's from Boston, that's where it's started. It seems like a combo of regular OLD and meetup groups--they will have singles events also. He did say that right now there are many more women than men on this site. I wonder how it will do--he was obviously very successful w/ monster.

I haven't really been doing OLD yet--I keep saying I will try it. First of all I haven't gotten around to getting any pictures. I am going to my class reunion in 2 weeks so I'll definitely have to get someone to take a picture of me when I'm all dressed up. Funny, though I did re-activate my profile on POF a few months ago and I have not had one email--I don't know if it's actually there or not. I mean, the first time I did it, like the 1st day I got several emails. I haven't even gotten the creepy guys or the guys who just email "hi" so I wonder if something's up--I have the same profile so it does seem "fishy" to me. Ha, ha. But I haven't contacted anyone either. Maybe I'll have to try match.

Funny cov. w/ my 14 yr old DS though. He said "You should really try that on line dating. How about EHarmony?" I said "well, my friends who have tried it don't really like that one cause you can't pick your own matches." so then he says "how about Jdate?" (like where does he even know about these names)--Duh! I'm not Jewish. lol So he says "maybe you could convert." He's quite the comedian.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 1:51pm

See my posting response to Blackngoldgal titled Online Dating.


I'm 56 and have been doing OLD on-and-off since my divorce when I was 46 yrs old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 4:24pm

I have been using OLD since 7 or 8 months after my divorce 6 years ago. I tried Match.com, and more recently POF, but only got a couple of dates out of either site, and nothing that went anywhere. Everyone I've actually dated I met on okcupid.com.

I met my first BF after the divorce on there and we were together for 4 years. We broke up last spring, and I dated a few other guys from Okcupid, plus a few dates from the other sites, but nothing really stuck. I met my current BF on Okcupid in January and it's still going very very well.

I never had more than one thing going on at a time, but that was just because I didn't have a whole lot of interest. Maybe one person would write me every two weeks or so. I would go out with pretty much anyone who asked as long as they fulfilled some very basic requirements though (no kids, not married, not religious, politically left). I'd also give them at least 3 dates, as long as they kept asking me out, because chemistry doesn't always happen on the first or second date.

That's what happened with my current BF. In email and through text we got along so well, but in person he was always so nervous and awkward. Halfway through the second date I kissed him, and found that chemistry I knew was really there. Since then things have been great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 6:24pm

Today I finally closed my account on POF and it feels good! What made me decide to do it today? Was it that request for a FWB relationship from some creep? Maybe.


Wish I could say something encouraging about OLD, but I can't. However, some people have succeeded at it. Maybe those with thicker skins who have more time to go on blind dates and fire off emails to countless prospects. And there are precious few of those on POF. Let's just say I have better things to do than hunt for that fishy needle in the haystack.


I really think that meetup.com groups are better, especially for us youthful ladies over 40. You may not meet someone but at least you're having fun. Even better - you can tell if there is any chemistry right away and there are no blind dates!

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 8:10pm

"I think men have an easier time than women for the older they get, the less desirable women are in many men's eyes.

Plus in many people's minds is that we all think we are younger than our age so "old" men want younger women."

Hey, I'm not trying to hassle you, thanks for your reply, however:
LOL, believe me, there are plenty of "less desirable" men in the "older" age group as far as women are concerned. I can't tell you how many men have contacted me who look like my grandfather with a pot belly wearing a wife-beater and a long scruffy beard. NOT desirable.

And, older men may WANT younger women but it doesn't mean they're going to GET them. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 10:10pm

Hey, I'm not trying to hassle you, thanks for your reply, however:
LOL, believe me, there are plenty of "less desirable" men in the "older" age group as far as women are concerned. I can't tell you how many men have contacted me who look like my grandfather with a pot belly wearing a wife-beater and a long scruffy beard. NOT desirable.


And, older men may WANT younger women but it doesn't mean they're going to GET them. :-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 11:12pm

I'm 49 and on my 2nd go around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 9:40am

This is so true! I have gotten messages from men in their 50s who look so old to me. Big beards, grizzled faces, pot bellies, the lot. And usually the pictures are bad too. In fact, the lack of effort most of the POF guys put into their profiles is stunning. I often wonder how desperate they think we women are.

I also think men tend to overestimate their looks whereas women do the opposite. Maybe we women are raised to focus more on our looks, be thin enough, pretty enough and well dressed enough to please others. Men are not taught to focus as much on their appearance because doing so might label them "gay".

I also agree that most older men who date younger, prettier women usually have three other things going for them: money, power and/or status. Unless they look like Cary Grant!

Maybe the thing to focus on is the fact that it only takes ONE and you never know when you'll meet them; be it OLD, at a meetup or when you're just busy living your life and pursuing your passions. It can happen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Fri, 05-07-2010 - 1:00am

I've been doing OLD for more than ten years. I can't imagine dating any other way. It saves wear and tear on me and on my car because I can eliminate the majority of men who contact me without leaving the comfort of my home.

My problem lately has been the "cougar hunters." Young guys in their twenties and thirties looking for hot older women. I am flattered I suppose but it's really a waste of time for me. There are plenty of slutty young women for them to chase! Having said that, I do tend to date men about ten years younger because I look damned good for my age and they still wind up looking older than me. One guy who was my age (but he didn't know it) asked me, "Aren't you worried about the age difference?" I said "What do you mean?" "My being much older than you." I replied, "Well, after 40 the age difference isn't that important." Which is true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 2:47pm

I've been off and on for about 5 years. I'm 42. Without OLD I would have had a whopping 3 dates in all that time.

I don't live in a large metro area...so the pickins are sometimes slim.

Are you initiating contact with any men? Or are you waiting for them to contact you? If I didn't contact any men, I would have had about 7 dates in all that time.

sooooobig

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