How long have you been doing OLD?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
How long have you been doing OLD?
13
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 6:21am

I'm going into my third year with OLD, and just wondered how many years (or months, LOL) others have been doing it? Have you had any relationships with men you've met online?

I have taken a few breaks, but for the majority of the time, I've had my profile visible. It's been slow this year--I haven't met even one guy. I haven't been on a date since September. I'm 55, BTW.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 5:40pm

<<I never contact men first.>>


to each his own.


< >>


i contacted dh first (via yahoo! personals) -- and am SO glad that I did. He had overlooked my profile because I was separated. When I wrote to him, he went back and took another look at my profile and he wrote me back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 12:53pm
I never contact men first. I want someone who is interested in me specifically and not just passing the time until he spots someone he really wants. I get plenty of men contacting me, but very few that I am interested in. I'm not desperate and prefer quality to quantity.
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 8:40pm

Like you, if it weren't for OLD, I pretty much wouldn't date either.

I have not been contacting men first. I've heard great success stories of women who have made the first contact, so I am not categorically opposed to it. I think a lot my "problem" is where I live. It's a medium-sized city without a lot to choose from in the first place (yeah, I know I could move). It's really funny though, that all the men who contacted me (and that I met), I never saw them in my searches, I don't know why that is.

The other "problem" is my age. It's just tougher when you're older, I don't care what anyone says.

But I'm not giving up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 2:47pm

I've been off and on for about 5 years. I'm 42. Without OLD I would have had a whopping 3 dates in all that time.

I don't live in a large metro area...so the pickins are sometimes slim.

Are you initiating contact with any men? Or are you waiting for them to contact you? If I didn't contact any men, I would have had about 7 dates in all that time.

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Fri, 05-07-2010 - 1:00am

I've been doing OLD for more than ten years. I can't imagine dating any other way. It saves wear and tear on me and on my car because I can eliminate the majority of men who contact me without leaving the comfort of my home.

My problem lately has been the "cougar hunters." Young guys in their twenties and thirties looking for hot older women. I am flattered I suppose but it's really a waste of time for me. There are plenty of slutty young women for them to chase! Having said that, I do tend to date men about ten years younger because I look damned good for my age and they still wind up looking older than me. One guy who was my age (but he didn't know it) asked me, "Aren't you worried about the age difference?" I said "What do you mean?" "My being much older than you." I replied, "Well, after 40 the age difference isn't that important." Which is true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 9:40am

This is so true! I have gotten messages from men in their 50s who look so old to me. Big beards, grizzled faces, pot bellies, the lot. And usually the pictures are bad too. In fact, the lack of effort most of the POF guys put into their profiles is stunning. I often wonder how desperate they think we women are.

I also think men tend to overestimate their looks whereas women do the opposite. Maybe we women are raised to focus more on our looks, be thin enough, pretty enough and well dressed enough to please others. Men are not taught to focus as much on their appearance because doing so might label them "gay".

I also agree that most older men who date younger, prettier women usually have three other things going for them: money, power and/or status. Unless they look like Cary Grant!

Maybe the thing to focus on is the fact that it only takes ONE and you never know when you'll meet them; be it OLD, at a meetup or when you're just busy living your life and pursuing your passions. It can happen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 11:12pm

I'm 49 and on my 2nd go around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 10:10pm

Hey, I'm not trying to hassle you, thanks for your reply, however:
LOL, believe me, there are plenty of "less desirable" men in the "older" age group as far as women are concerned. I can't tell you how many men have contacted me who look like my grandfather with a pot belly wearing a wife-beater and a long scruffy beard. NOT desirable.


And, older men may WANT younger women but it doesn't mean they're going to GET them. :-)


Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 8:10pm

"I think men have an easier time than women for the older they get, the less desirable women are in many men's eyes.

Plus in many people's minds is that we all think we are younger than our age so "old" men want younger women."

Hey, I'm not trying to hassle you, thanks for your reply, however:
LOL, believe me, there are plenty of "less desirable" men in the "older" age group as far as women are concerned. I can't tell you how many men have contacted me who look like my grandfather with a pot belly wearing a wife-beater and a long scruffy beard. NOT desirable.

And, older men may WANT younger women but it doesn't mean they're going to GET them. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 6:24pm

Today I finally closed my account on POF and it feels good! What made me decide to do it today? Was it that request for a FWB relationship from some creep? Maybe.


Wish I could say something encouraging about OLD, but I can't. However, some people have succeeded at it. Maybe those with thicker skins who have more time to go on blind dates and fire off emails to countless prospects. And there are precious few of those on POF. Let's just say I have better things to do than hunt for that fishy needle in the haystack.


I really think that meetup.com groups are better, especially for us youthful ladies over 40. You may not meet someone but at least you're having fun. Even better - you can tell if there is any chemistry right away and there are no blind dates!

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