How long should the first meeting be...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2009
How long should the first meeting be...
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 1:00pm

if he's driving an hour and a half one way to meet you. I know the first meeting should be fairly short - say the time it takes to drink

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 3:46pm

My boyfriend drove 3 hours to meet me, so we planned a museum instead of my preferred coffee. It only seemed polite. Really, was my life so busy I couldn't sacrifice two or three hours for someone who was willing to drive that far?

Anyway, I didn't need to worry since that date ended up being seven hours long (and I got my coffee!). So I probably have a different take on it than everyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2009
Sat, 08-15-2009 - 12:13pm

I think that a first meeting should be structured so you can get out of it in an hour if things don't work out, but so that you can stay longer if things do work out.

A lot of people say "no" to dinner meetings, but the few I have had have all turned out well. However, the times I have agreed to meet a guy for dinner for the first date have all been cases where I already felt a rapport with the guy from e-mail or the phone. I knew that even the face-to-face did not lead to great romance, we would at least not be bored during dinner.

Basically, you have to play it by ear given the circumstances. Just always give yourself an "out" even if it is an imaginary sick grandmother to whose dying bedside you'll be called just at the moment when you can't stand the guy a minute longer. :)