How long is your average date?
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How long is your average date?
| Sun, 10-29-2006 - 8:20am |
Why do I ask? Lately, on dates where I really click with the guy, I'm spending 6-8 hours with them. Is that normal for the first few dates? I just went out yesterday on a first date with a guy who seems great and it was an 8 hour date though I have no idea where the time went. It felt more like 4 hours tops. We went to a restaurant, walked around a bit and then to a lounge. When I said I thought it was time I should be running home, he joked that we should go out to dinner again that night because he was getting hungry again. He didn't want me to go home and at the end of the night I got a hug, a kiss on the cheek and three kisses on the lips...okay there was definitely mutual attraction there.:) I was thinking that I shouldn't be spending that much time with a guy especially the first few times I see him because we'll eventually run out of things to talk about and it feels like we're kind of moving things along too quickly. But I can't help enjoying myself and the guy can't either so I don't know how to leave when everything is moving along so well. Any advice?

Woo! Sounds like you had a nice date yesterday! I hope things work out for you guys!
My first dates are usually about 2 hours, give or take 30 mins. Even if I'm having such a great time, I still cut it short. Though, I usually meet around 8:45pm. If I were to meet a guy on a saturday afternoon or earlier in the evening, I could see maybe staying with him up to 4 hours tops if things were going well.
I guess super long dates are a good way to really get to know someone, but my take on it is that if he's that great to want to spend that much time around, then it's probably better to take things slow to leave some suspense about you and some healthy buffer zone. I could work up to an 8 hour date by the 3rd date or so but not the first date...that's just me. :)
Sounds like a fun date - agree. I guess I would do what this poster suggests. Maybe during the week meet later around 9 for a drink where you have a time limit as you have work the next day. Or if you meet up on the weekend why not say lets meet around 8 for dinner....just an idea or if you meet them for lunch then make sure you have someplace else you gotta be several hours later as in having fun but I'm meeting a GF of mine for dinner or at the bookstore.
Wow, that is one loooong first date, LOL!!!
My first meets are generally about 1-1.5 hours at the longest. Early dates are usually 2-3 hours, depending on what we do. I wouldn't be comfortable on an 8 hour date early in the dating process at this point in my life but I used to do that a lot when I was younger (48-72 hour first dates were not unknown, LOL).
Sheri
I know a lot of folks will disagree, but sometimes 8 hours date happen... My sis-in-law has an 8-hour rule. If you can deal with the person that long, he/she may be a good candidate for more. But if you can't deal with them for that time (even if it's broken into 4 dates) then don't even bother. So at least you got that out of the way!
Has he called/setup a date since then?
I've had them 1 hr (when i coudlnt WAIT to get OUT OF THERE!) to 6-7 hours.
Try to take it in the reverse... the fact that you connected so well with a person means it's possible. It's out there. This guy may not be the one meant for you but maybe you needed a sign for right now?
Hope that helps a bit...
On one hand, it makes so much sense to keep it short. AFter my first OLD (6 hours) I vowed I would not make that mistake again. The INSTANT I got home I could count the red flags---maybe I wouldn't have seen them if we had only been together 2 hours, but he would have been a lot easier to shake off had I not been having such a great time! (he was a major clinger and interpreted my interest as a lifetime committment)
My second OLD was more like 4 hours. The second date with him was 6 hours. We haven't decided what we are doing this weekend (Ikes! third date and I'm already thinking we're exclusive!)
The reality is; i have a hard time getting Ex to take the kids, so when he does, I need to make the best use of that time possible. If I have to pay a sitter, it is gonna be a short date!
He hasn't called me yet and I know he's been on the site several times since we went out. But I'm not going to sweat it. We have conflicting work scheules so I would never be able to see him during the week if we dated. In the future, I'm not going to do the long dates because yeah, they do draw you in too much.
I actually put up a new ad on craigslist and removed my ad from match because I was getting close to no responses on match. Meanwhile, I have close to a 100 from CL, some of worst quality than others, but overall guys who seem to have their act together and who are very good-looking. The guys I get winks and emails from on match are mostly duds lookswise and in what they say in their profiles, if they say much at all. With CL though, there is a more extensive weeding out process that's required but since I have so many guys to choose from, it shouldn't be hard to let the shady ones go. Plus I don't have to pay to get results. Match.com has taken too much money from me already and I haven't met anyone on there who I had a LTR with. Thanks for all the feedback though. As always, I appreciate it.