How to not be bitter.........
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| Sun, 03-06-2005 - 10:01am |
I am and I know it. You can tell in my posts I'm sure. I'm sorry for raining on ya'lls parade sometimes and for not having a happy-go-lucky attitude regarding dating. I'm in a rut regarding men. Every time I've believed in a boyfriend and thought it would go the long haul, it didn't. Every time I heard "I love you", I thought he meant it. Alas, I am alone still and pissed off....lol. I meant everything I said and did in all my relationships. Why did they not evolve into more? I know I'm the common denominator so there is that work I need to do. I had a counselor back in Minnesota who helped me fix my picker outer - he was great. And now that it's fixed (?) I'm scared to try it out for fear of getting stomped on again.
How do YOU go on? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a broken heart or spirit from so many crappy relationships. I used to wake up every morning with a "bring it on" attitude. I haven't felt that way in about two years. Do I need drugs? How do you get excited about life again?
Lisa

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Hi Hoov,
I know this might seem like a lot of sad posts in reply , but in all honesty, I think we all Need to be a little Eeyore,now and then. All of these emotions are normal, so we just let them have their moment, not deny them access, and therefore,we don't let them stay in a dark place to become large monsters that are Much harder to deal with.
I know what you mean about men in "real life"....so far, I cannot seem to find any that are Not married "but forgot their wedding band" on the way to run errands, etc! Mutt Butts, one and all! I have truly tried to change my focus, and find that the days I do Not keep looking at my phone for a call I Hope comes in, or checking my email 5 times a day, Praying for a short note...well, I Like these days much better, more often these days! It worries me that I am becoming jaded. Or...am I really putting this "where it belongs"..and that is much further down the priority list!? I hope it is the latter.
I have been in love. I don't think you "fall" into it, because That part is not what hurts! I think you 'tumble' out of it; full of bruises and cuts to the heart! You will survive, and more,you will Thrive. (and, hopefully, learn a few life lessons not soon forgotten!)
Geee....I would SO much rather have a good man to come home to, climb up in his lap and share the days joys and pains and then move forward, together. But...like me suddenly sprouting up Past my 5 feet tall...it probably 'Aint gonna happen, so I quit wasting time wishing. Now...if it Does..! And that is how I feel about finding a mate; very "if it does". If not, cool that,I wil roll on and Try to look at the bright side. If I can't, then I will Eeyore for a while and then cross back to the lighter side, asap.
I do not think we are in ANY way alone in this, but I AM heartened by the fact that those here on the board are the KIND of people I hope to populate my planet with, and THIS shows me that, wonderfully, they not only Do exsist, but I get to communicate with them, regularly!!!!
Truly,
Cupcake
HI Lisa,(and All)
Reading along the posts and your replies to them, I can see a maturity in you, an ability to open your mind to take in ideas and advice,that will serve you well, Grasshopper! :)
As a health coach, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with some mild anti-depressants, if that is what is need to get you back to a better place. I do think the BEST thing that people can do is exercise; the benefits are great and many! Beta-endorphins, or "happy tribbles" race to your brain when you do work out. These are the same hormones present during the height of sex,and just about Anything else you enjoy immensely--your brain opens the fence and lets those ponies Run! You will sleep better, you will Feel better about yourself, and it will bring you a great sense of self-accomplishment, too! Nike is Not kidding when they say "Just Do It" and I add "And Don't Quit"! If you plan to exercise while taking any medication, be sure to talk to your doctor about its' interaction and limits, per your health.
As far as we women feeling like we are "over" past 45, I do so hope you all will NOT measure your attractiveness and worth by these men Also over 45...SO many of them are "Viagra Wannabes"! I think of this when I see them ,and They might think my grin is flirtatious, but I am actually laughing AT them! What's good for the Goose is great for the Cupcake!!! And You too!
Truly,
Cupcake
Funny that you mentioned that. The Cali boy definitely has a problem (it was strange to me because it had never never happened before). I think he was embarrassed and maybe that is why he ghosted :) He is on-line all the time looking for cure :)
Edited 3/8/2005 8:16 pm ET ET by ivos2004
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