How often to e-mail?
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| Sun, 09-11-2005 - 1:13pm |
In this computer age, everyone seems to be online all day long. When you're starting out with someone you met on an OLD site, how often should you e-mail to avoid scaring someone off?
A whole day doesn't ever go by without me checking my e-mail, and quite often, I check it several times a day. I see no reason to not e-mail someone a response when I see it appear in my inbox, except to not scare them off by appearing too eager.
For example, About 3 weeks ago, a guy contacted me, and said he was in another state with the National Guard for the next 3 weeks, so he didn't have that much access to a computer. We e-mailed just a handful of times during that 3 weeks, but he e-mailed me on Friday to let me know that he was home, and that we'd chat soon. I responded on Friday, he responded back yesterday (Saturday) morning. I didn't e-mail him back yesterday, even though I was dying to, b/c I don't want to appear pushy. (I've never worried about this with any other OLD guys before, but then I realized that maybe that's part of the reasons why none of them has ever worked out.) I know guys get red flags over the dumbest of things, and over-attentive girls (or what they perceive to be overattentive, even if it's really not) is a big turn-off for alot of guys.
So it's now 1pm on Sunday...and I'm having to tear myself away from the computer to keep from e-mailing him back! I should also add that I'm leaving Wednesday thru Saturday for vacation, so I won't be able to contact him then.
I don't think I can go very much longer without contacting him...do you think I'm playing the game right?

I generally respond to the first email or two either right away or within a day. However, if for some reason we can't meet right away, then I like to space the emails out by 2-3 days. That's not because I don't want to seem pushy, but because I think over-emailing (and forming an attachment that is fantasy rather than reality-based) is one of the biggest mistakes you can make prior to meeting in person.
I think emailing him back today is fine...but as I said in another thread, I also think you should meet in person ASAP.
Sheri