How Soon to Meet?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 01-06-2007 - 3:54pm |
I recently signed up with a couple of OLD sites as a New Year effort to put myself out there. At the same time, I've been lurking on this board and taking in your wonderful advise and varied experiences. Reading this board is like a reality check. You all are great.
I am 53, divorced and returning to OLD after less-than satisfactory experiences a few years ago. I feel I'm in a better place now and also have a better handle on expectations and I think I've developed a thicker skin.
So, now I've been online for about a week, apparently experiencing the number (or lack of) and quality of encounters typical for a 53-year-old woman who's looking to date.
Now comes my question. Contact was initiated by a man my age with a thoughtful and wry email. I responded with a brief message saying he made me laugh and that we definitely have things to talk about. He answered right away, a nice brief message ending with a suggestion/request that we meet for lunch.
I understand and agree with the concept that it's best not to wait too long to meet. But I wasn't expecting this quite so soon, especially since he lives almost 50 miles away. I thought maybe we'd email a few times, then maybe talk on the phone and then meet in a couple weeks if the communcation was good. That was my imagination's scenario anyway. Turns out he works not far from where I live.
So, what shall I do? Put him off and see if he's willing to email for a bit, or just go ahead and meet him?
In my past stint of OLD, I did the email exchange route and the meet right away route, and as I said, the experiences were not satisfactory. Anyone care to venture some thoughts on the matter?
Thanks!
Judy

Judy,
You can probably stretch it out a couple more e-mails by suggesting that you should meet at the end of the week instead of right away. (Just say you are busy at work until Thursday or something like that.) And you may want to have him phone you (or you phone him) to "work out the details" first. This will give you a chance to hear his voice and figure out if a lunch conversation will be possible.
On the other hand, it won't hurt to meet soon. It's only lunch. ;)
Good luck,
Elsa
I would write to him and say, "why don't you give me a call and we can talk about the possibility of meeting for lunch?" Give him your number and some good times to call.
I don't think you're going to learn much more by emailing a couple more times, but I do understand wanting to talk on the phone first.
I find that the guys who suggest meeting right away are a MUCH better bet, as a rule, than those who drag it out endlessly.
Sheri
I think that's what I'll do--give him my cell number and suggest we talk about the possibility of lunch later in the week.
Thanks Elsa and Sheri for the encouraging advice. Since this is my first meet since returning to OLD, I'm nervous. But gotta start somewhere, right?
Judy
I can relate to your posting, penlady. Sometimes we gals just have to get extra assertive, apparently!
Pink