How soon is too soon?
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|Tue, 08-12-2003 - 12:09pm|
1. Having dinner at either person's home?
2. Meeting the parent or parents?
3. Meeting friends or co-workers?
4. Meeting children or ex-spouse?
5. Going a mini-vacation together?
6. Moving in together?
7. Sharing bank accounts?
8. Loaning money to the other person?
9. Buying someone a gift?
10. Getting married?
I just want your personal time line of things, not to say it has to be right or wrong here. Just give me an idea of how long you think you should wait for these things. To each their own, and keep that in mind. Personally, my ex and I met on a Thursday in college, went out that night, he was at my home, no sexual favors exchanged, but that following weekend, we went away on a mini-vacation together,sexual favors were exhanged, he moved in within the next month, we got pregnant within the next two, and were married within 5 months of my pregnancy. Now, keep in mind we are divorced now. lol SO, that was my timeline with him. I think all was way to soon, but I was also 19, and he was only 23.
Now, with the exception of marriage and moving in, here is my idea of how long each one should take.
1.Having dinner at someone's home? **Could be one of two dates after the first meeting or date.
2.Meet the parents? ***for me, it would be atleast a month or more.
3.Meeting friends or co-workers? ***Now, this could be 2nd date, or well into three months of dating, depending on when I could get everyone together. I would do it as soon as possible if the man was ok with it.
4.Meet children or ex-spouse? ***If the trust is there, then whenever it is possible. The ex, I would like to wait a while, but that didnt happen with Eric. My ex met him Sunday when he came to pick his boys up, and it went well. Not the best, but it was fine. So, I would have wanted to wait, but my Ex got froggy and walked up onto my patio when he was supposed to wait in the car. (later for details)
5.Mini-vacation? ***I would say after meeting the kids, if any, and a few dates, maybe a month or so if time allows it, go somewhere together for the weekened.
6.Moving in together?***Months, perferrably a year. (if I could hold out) lol
7.Sharing bank accounts?***Never.
8. Money loans?***Well, never again. I dont have money to give people. lol I might do it after months of dating if it was really needed, but I would not expect things to go much farther, since I do not think a man should accept money from a woman under any circumstances.
9.Buying someone a gift?***This could happen on the first date I suppose. Eric gave me a rose. I bought him a shirt.( I know it was too soon) I saw it, it was on sale, I bought it, he loved it. I wanted to wait atleast a month before buying such a gift, but it was so perfect when I gave it to him and he loved it. SO, I broke my own rule. lol
10.marriage? At least a year. IF not more. WHEW! I cant do it anytime soon, I know that. It freaks me out. lol