how to tell a guy is interested

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
how to tell a guy is interested
5
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 5:37pm
I've been communicating with a guy by e-mail for about a while and now we've been talking on the phone for the past two days. The thing is that he's really shy and he says he goes blank when on the phone. He was the one calling me and not the other way around. How do I know if he really likes me? I've been asking him all about himself, what he likes to do for fun, his job, his interests, etc. I'm so confused as to how he feels about me. What should I do to find this out other than coming out and asking him? Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 5:41pm
Amjay has what I believe is the worlds best response to this and I'll let her answer. (It involves phrasing a question so as to get to the meet)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 6:32pm
Well you can always stop asking him about himself and see if he starts asking you about yourself. If he doesn't, he's either not that interested or a lousy communicator - both of which are good enough reasons to cut your losses very quickly!! :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 6:50pm

Hi, kathy.

You want to get off the phone and face to face as soon as possible. If you look through the OLD website you will learn why. I never judge anyone by their phone manner. I hate the darn things and am accused (rightly so) of being very very abrupt, but that's only because I want to hang up.

I will never again prolong emailing for the same reason as prolonging telephone conversations. You cannot get to know a person if you can't see them. This was proven by me the hard way.

Guy and I start emailing. It's great fun, he's a great guy, I'm a great girl. But WTF? Is he EVER going to ask me out? He hasn't even asked me for my phone number. So I finally say, in an email:

"You know, as much as I am enjoying our conversations, it occurs to me that the reason I posted a profile online was to meet people. So do you want to?"

He replied yes and we were off, using email and phone strictly to make/confirm dates and times. That's the way it should be.

And to bring things back to my original caution to you, he was a complete disappointment. I had fallen for somebody who didn't exist in real life. I didn't even like his voice!!!

Hope I've helped.

amjay

Avatar for cyclegirl36
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 8:40pm

Hello there

I will tell it to you straight..if a guy is interested, he asks you out. I have tried the rationalizing, the reasoning, the making excuses for their "shyness"..it all comes back to the same thing..if he wants to meet with you he will go to any length to do so.

As was mentioned by another poster, the phone call is usually to set up a meeting date (if I am recalling correctly). I would not give out my number otherwise..

I placed an ad on the internet on a local yocal website which what seems like many moons ago. After sorting thru the e-mails, I chose three "candidates". 2 out of the 3 I met. We e-mailed for a short time, then met. Candidate #3? Well, it was quite a few years before "He's Just Not That Into You" was to put out, so, I was still in the dark about the ways of the world. I spent about 3 weeks talking on the phone to this knucklehead and the kicker was..he lived FIVE MINUTES AWAY! I finally said it was time for us to meet, he replies "well, you know, you are 36 and have never been married, blah, blah blah"..and then couldn't understand why I was angry! After three weeks of talking to this guy over the phone..this is what this putz says to me..(BTW he was 40 and had never been married.) I abruptly ended our little suedo telephone relationship. He called, he e-mailed everday after that. I blew him OFF. Whoosh!!

Lesson learned: if they want to meet you/be with you, they WILL leap tall buildings in a single bound to do so.

Cyclegirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 10:17pm
That's a great response Amjay. I get so bored with the back and forth. I hate talking on the phone and email just gets tedious after a while. I don't get these guys who just wanna chat cause, honestly, they're not that intellectually stimulating in the first place. I can't keep track of email conversations I'm having with 4 different guys. It's mind-numbing. Most of them men that contact me do want to meet rather quickly, but I've decided to cut the endless yappers off quickly. Call me shallow, but I just need to know if there's chemistry before I want to get to know you. :-) This is way too much work!