how would you take this....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
how would you take this....
11
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 9:50am

My boyfriend and I are getting together this weekend and I'm bringing my son, which he is aware of. I made mention to bf that my son is really looking forward to it. Here is his response:

"as for your son, I think he's a cool kid, although a bit more energy than I desire to spend on. LOL "

how would you feel about that comment?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 10:02am
By the way I read it, it sounds like he doesn't really want him coming with you. Which is odd, considering he already knew that he was coming.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 10:02am

Oooh ouch.

So what happened the last time he met your son? Is your son ADHD? Is he bouncing off the walls.

There seemed to be a tad of the eye roll in that email from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 10:22am
Maybe your B/f wants to spend more quality time alone with you. Do you do this often or is your son always around?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 10:24am
Did he invite both of you on this date? It sounds to me like a hint that he would be interested in seeing you alone. No offense meant, I'm sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 10:28am

Does your BF have kids of his own?

As a single person dating yes it's nice to spend one on one time alone with your SO however if you get involved with a single parent as he is with you that is part of the package. This isn't something new right?

Also, we women tend to analyze every little comment - DON'T ok? You two have a good relationship. If it really bothered him he'd break it off with you. Maybe he was being sarcastic - the thing with email is you cannot convey the TONE so half the time we misintrepret what the other person is saying.

I'd jokingly ask him "in person" not email what he meant by that but don't be so serious; I bet he was joking.

Good luck.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 11:33am
the last three weekends my son went with his grandparents for the weekend, but I told bf that this weekend I had my son. So he said he had "absolutely" no problem with him coming and that there was a cool arcade we could check out. When we first starting dating over 3 months ago he said he was originally looking for someone with either no kids or grown kids (his are 17 and 22 and live on the other side of the US!!). But since meeting me he's changed his criteria....whatever...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 11:54am
My son is definitely not ADHD...but when encouraged he can rough house alittle. He doesn't really have any male figures in his life (and I don't count his dad!!) But the bf sometimes starts the rough housing. And they'll pick on each other, but just basic guy stuff. The last time my son was with us, we went to an Air Show and had a great time. Sometimes I think that bf has raised his kids and really doesn't want to deal with mine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 12:09pm
I didn't respond right away to his email and he sent a new one saying "are you busy, you haven't replied, are you ignoring me!!?"...so I replied and said "I know my son can be a handful sometimes but go easy on him this weekend and I'll make sure he does too". We'll see what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 12:14pm

As I said, it wasn’t an intended comment I believe. We women tend to overanalyze and create scenarios that aren’t there. Go with the flow....and have fun. Don’t think so much about it; his actions not words prove he’s into you, bottom line – my advice.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 12:16pm

Good hearing from you donna710..

To me his email could be a subtle way of him wanting to spend time with you alone -- OR --whatever events he has planned, he would now need to include doing some kid-friendly events as well ("although a bit more energy than I desire to spend").

Also if your bf has spent time with you the last 4 weekends (without your son) then he has gotten comfortable with that arrangement and although he is cool with your son coming this weekend, he does have to make some adjustments.

Seems like he is compromising in this situation!

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