*Hugs* for the Holidays...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
*Hugs* for the Holidays...
18
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 5:01pm

I've been seeing a few posts about the holidays and those who are single and lonely during this time. I understand and feel where you're coming from. Though I am blessed in that I have a family to fly to, I still struggle when I look around the dinner table and everyone is coupled up except me. I try to remind myself though that I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong person... But I do know that isn't the greatest answer at times.


I just wanted everyone to know that though this is only an online community, please feel free to share your loneliness here and know there are others facing the same struggle. It's hard enough being alone, but the holidays make it harder... so please know you're not alone and we can all share in the fact that at least we have someone even if it is only online!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 6:40pm

I'd have to say the holidays are a tough one for me. I tend to have to force myself to go to family functions and parties as everyone in coupled up and although NOBODY in my family makes me feel bad or pressures me by saying stupid things like "when are you getting a boyfriend" or things like that, I'd never go to family functions if they did it still stings to not have anyone year after year you know??

But I will say this, even if it's a huge struggle to get me to the party, I have a blast once I'm there.

THis is what I always say, it's okay to be sad, or down some time, we aren't meant to always be HAPPY and it's okay to feel that way, as long as it doesn't last for too long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 6:47pm

It is hard.....I am missing my ex boyfriend because last Christmas he helped me get my tree (even though he is Jewish and doesn't celebrate Christmas), we baked cookies together and we took a trip to Newport, RI for 3 days between Christmas and New Years...

Now I'm all alone with a handful of online interests that will most likely fizzle out like the rest of them.

I'm not glad that others are feeling lonely but I am a bit glad to have company. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 6:53pm
Are you in New England? even more company as I'm in MA and travel to NH because that's where I grew up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 6:54pm
Being alone on the holidays does suck. And it sucks that many of us are in it together. But just focus on the fun of it all. Family and all that good stuff. My family would never ask me about having a boyfriend, thank goodness... a lot of people in my family have had multiple marriages so I guess we are very understanding. I'm thankful for that. But either way, let's just focus on the fun of the holidays. And with that extra money left from not buying a gift for a significant other, lets buy something nice for ourselves! How bout it! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 6:54pm

Nope, I wish I were :)

I'm in Pennsylvania. Newport is about a 5 hour drive for me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 7:15pm

I did just that nicki, bought myself a gorgeous blue topaz and diamond ring from ice.com. It's purty!

One of my closest friends has a family that literally everytime they see her they ask when she's going to get married etc. It is so upsetting for her, she actually left Thanksgiving last year because her uncle was just harrassing her about it. I don't understand why people can't understand how hurtful that is, and when someone says "Enough, please stop" why they don't stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 9:17pm

Funny you should bring this up tonight of all nights. Tonight was (or is...it's going on right now) the company Holiday Party. And, as usual, I am not there. Why? Because I refuse to go alone. I know that a lot of people don't have a problem with it, but I do. Some of the married folks leave their spouses at home and they tell me to come becuase they'll be alone too. But the big difference is that they have someone to bring if they wanted to. I don't. Some women even bring a girlfriend. But to me, if that doesn't reek of...."she couldn't get a date if she dropped dead trying", I don't know what does.

The thing is that I KNOW it's going to show up on my performance appraisal. It might be implicit, but the fact that I don't attend company social events is going to show up somehow. I really don't care. If they want to fire me because I'm not social, that's their perogative.

So, here I sit, moping around, having a pity party and consuming massive amounts of food with high calorie and fat content. Hope it makes me feel better. Is it March yet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 9:33pm

I wish I was there to hug all of you...


Something that has worked for me... rather than focus on what I don't have, I find someting to have. For example, I wind up every holiday going to my sister-in-law's parents. They've basically adopted me! Now I could sit there and think about the parents I don't have and the love I don't have, or do something about it.


I go to holiday parties alone... I'd rather party with friends than party with no one. I'm not saying that anything I do is the answer, either. But I think it's important for all us singles to do something good for ourselves, you know? Drop what you think should be and find something that you create...


Does that make sense or am I spewing nonsense? LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 11:06pm

Hey all,

Sometimes though, even if one is surrounded by loved ones, one can still feel lonely.

When I begin to mope and feel like "woe is me", I think about the things for which I have to be thankful.

One way to boost your spirits is to help the less fortunate. Donate food, toys, or your time.

Annbeaglemom, it almost sounds like you're afraid to have fun . . . don't be so hard on yourself. :)

Meade <3

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 11:18pm
You know I haven't gone to my company christmas party for 3 years now for many of the same reasons. This year I went with another single gal from work. Not only was it a blast, but we closed the party and then changed in our room and closed the bar in the hotel bar. It was sooo much fun and I regret not going before.

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