humor, chemistry and gender roles

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2008
humor, chemistry and gender roles
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 6:16pm


I am a 36 yr old male, and I can't begin to tell you how many online profiles of women that I've seen which state that the person in question wants someone who makes them laugh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 7:27pm

I never put that I was looking for a man who makes me laugh in my profile, and I've never seen it in a man's profile.

I also believe it's both parties responsibility to put the other at ease, although I'll admit I did most of that during the first few dates with my boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 10:53pm

I'm actually someone who does mention the importance of humor in my profile. I mention that I can be funny and that I like a guy who can laugh at himself and life.

That's the key though... being able to laugh at yourself and life in general. If the guy can tell a great joke or story, wonderful... but typically joke telling is part of that person's personality. Not everyone is like that and you don't have to be that personality to be funny/appreciate humor in life.

IMO, it's not necessary to "entertain" your date with jokes... instead just laugh at any embarrassing thing you do ... find humor in the absurdity of life. Smile, enjoy yourself. Being able to kid someone about their quirks and take it when they kid you about yours...that's being funny. I'm not saying being mean and picking on someone... just laugh at the silly stuff that makes us human ...or animals sweet. It also means finding the humor in the serious, crappy stuff that happens to us too.

Does that make sense? I hope it was helpful.

Good luck in your search,

Edited to add: many of the guy's profiles I read do mention humor...maybe I pick up on that and remember those profiles because humor is important to me too. Off hand I don't remember guy's saying specifically that they want a women "to be able to make them laugh" ... that would be kind of weird. Maybe some women expect men to make them happy.....??? Whole nother conversation....

Edited 8/20/2009 11:01 pm ET by zjaney
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 12:38pm

I most certainly DID state in my (old OLD) profile that I wanted someone with a good sense of humor but that is becasue I love to lough, tell joke, poke fun, tease and just carry on in a fun and humours way. It was important to me that the guys I met felt the same.

In fact when I first met my DH (on Hot or Not) I was not physically attracted to him, but....he made me laugh. We've been together 3 yrs married one very wonderful year and yes, I find him incredibly attractive now.....and funny.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2009
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 12:46pm

I know that when I say I want someone with a good sense of humor, I mean that I want someone with MY same good sense of humor. Everyone usually has some sort of humor.

When I meet anyone in general, I can usually tell if we have the same idea of what's funny. It just naturally comes out. I don't expect the guy to entertain me though. I wouldn't want someone to expect that of me. It doesn't seem fair. If you meet a mature woman who is patient and will give more than once chance, eventually you will figure out if the two of you like to laugh at the same things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 10:19am

Having someone with a similar sense of humor helps you to relax when you are meeting someone new, I think. It helps you figure out a person pretty quickly. For instance, if you think Jon Stewart is funny and your date thinks Rush Limbaugh is funny, there might be a problem.

I have been lured in by profiles that are really funny, only to find out that the guy has a very nasty sense of humor, or none at all. Other guys claim they are funny and their sense of humor is lamer than my grandmothers.

I'm not looking for anyone to 'entertain' me, but be able to make quick conversation so that you don't have those loonnggg sileennnttt mommeeennnttts. Those are killers.