I can't believe he emailed this to me

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
I can't believe he emailed this to me
5
Sun, 09-22-2013 - 10:42pm

My profile mentions that I am planning to get a new job and also saving to buy a condo one day.  Then I said that I dream of going to Europe.  I got an email from a guy saying that it seems I am not satisfied with my life and he asked me why!!!!!!!  I am very satisfied!!!  Just because I want a new job and have goals to reach doesn't mean I am not satisfied!!!  Does anyone think I should not say those things in my profile?  thanks in advance

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Sun, 12-15-2013 - 2:42pm

guess I forgot I posted this.  Yes, I am younger than you are (38).  The thought of having the guy pay for vacations never crossed my mind.  I have a Bachelors Degree and work for a global insurance co.  I would say I have a good job that pays well  and would never want to freeload off a guy.  The reason I never went to Europe is because I spent most of my money on following an 80's rock band and getting front row seats and buying memorabilia.... 

I do have a dream of buying a condo.  Don't  get me wrong, I do have a co-op.  My parents helped me I guess because they paid for my sis's wedding and I wasn't married yet, so we split the cost of the co-op.  However, it was built in 1942 and there is no insulation.  I can hear my neighbor sneeze or sing to his kid or my nieghbor and her BF upstairs....  well this is why I want my own place and  this time no help from my parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 10-09-2013 - 11:12am

I'm a middle aged woman and when I mention places that I want to travel it's because I want to meet a man who also enjoys traveling--not everyone does.  I never even thought that the guy might get the impression that I wanted him to pay for it.  I guess I am not used to men paying for anything--getting a dinner is like a big deal nowadays.  One of my friends mentioned wanting to get married so she could quit work and I was thinking wow, that would never even cross my mind that would be possible.  lol  I was married twice but I always worked.  As far as the guy being low income, yes that might come to mind that if he could barely support himself then he wouldn't be able to do "extras" like go on vacations--but I don't communicate with low income guys because I'm afraid they will want me to support them!  Not to mention that since I have a graduate degree I don't want someone who does not have an education (generally speaking--there may be exceptions).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2013
Tue, 10-08-2013 - 12:53pm

I know this is an old post but reading the question I laughed thinking back to when I did a ton of online dating. First of all I'm middle age and think you might be a bit younger so my take could be a little different. Anytime a woman would talk about traveling to Europe or island hopping the Carribbean, two thoughts came to mind. Either the woman wanted me to pay for the trip and not too long after we started dating or she was saying if a guy wants to date her he'd better not be a ditch digger making minimum wage with an 8th grade education. Would that be a correct assumption? Is there anything wrong with a woman having a minimum requirement in terms of disposable income?  I never ever communicated with women who mentioned exotic travel.

Otherwise, nothing wrong with stating goals and wanting a potential mate to have goals...especially if you're of the age where having children and depending on the person for financial security is important. Be careful because men have figured that out and write what they think a woman wants to hear just for a whirlwind few weeks of passion. 

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 11:20am

you're fine, i think it is actually he that is not happy with his life is he feels compelled to write you such a thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:46am

I don't think there's anything wrong with having aspirations.  I guess it's how you word things.  Say that you were a nursing assistant and you said that you hoped someday to be an RN, I don't think that would be bad.  If you just say I work at X company and I don't like my job and I want to do something else--it just sounds too negative.  I think a lot of people mention where they would like to go on trips--I don't see any problem with that.