I can't help the way i feel - Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
I can't help the way i feel - Help!
4
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 3:29pm

I will try to keep this short, with as much detail as possible, I
really need help with my situation and hope to get some input.

In August I got in a car accident that left me out of work for about
4 months, and in those 4 months a lot of my "friends" ditched me
because I couldn't hang out with them like we used to. I'm still
young, 22 years old, attractive and have no problem attracting guys,
but it’s the type of guys I attract that is the problem, so after my last relationship (a serious one that lasted 5 years) failed, I set my standards higher, and promised myself that it may take time, sort or long, but someday someone special will come into my life.

On to the story.

While I was out of work, I started talking to someone online named
James, who unfortunately lives in Australia (I live in the US). In
these last few months we've become incredibly close, talking about
anything and everything and have become really great friends. I've
never clicked with anyone the way I click with him (online or
offline)... the kicker is he turns 18 in a couple months so he is
quite younger than me... Anyway, I can't help how I feel, everyday
it gets harder and harder because I feel like I'm falling in love
with him, and he's told me many times too that he wishes we didn't
live so far apart, and he wishes girls where he lives were like me,
and such like that. We're both on the same page, but I might be
the only one who feels like I'm "falling."

There are plenty of great men out there in the world, and yes I take
that into consideration, but I can't help but feel the way I feel
about James in particular... I, personally, would not be in a long distance
relationship... but I wish I could meet him or something. If he
lived in the US, I would not be here - I would visit him no problem!
But ahhhh... he lives so far away it complicates things more. And
he IS young, there is no denying that or shying away from the fact
that he is 17 years old. We talk on the phone a couple times a
week, as often as we can he loves talking to me and I love talking
to him... it’s actually quite inexpensive to call to him if I call
his landline, use an overseas phone card, and call after business
hours.

I'm unsure what my question is, but I hope to get some advice on
this whole situation. Is it worth my time to continue anything?
Should we meet? I have the means for it but I've also never left
the US before, and wouldn't want to go alone. Help :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 3:40pm
Although long distance relationships sometimes work, the end result is usually a parting of the ways since eventually one of the two parties must decide if they want to move to be with their significant other. In this case, we're talking several continents away. Add to that fact his young age and your young age. My advice? I wouldn't put much stock into this one. At 18, he's quite young and probably immature. I'm sure you can find someone within driving distance to date if you have some patience. The odds are not in your favor for this one to be long-term.
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 4:51pm

Hugs (((((sonicfan))))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 9:46am
He's only 17? I would certainly CHECK the laws before meeting him via internet anything.. You seem to feeling 'too much' for not knowing him in person. Can you possibly(after he's an adult) agree to meet as friends?
E
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 5:32pm
aww i feel the same way about sum1 i met online!! We live really far apart im in the UK and he is in the U.S. there is also a bit of a gap, im 16 n he's 20 lol we've been chattin for about 7 months now non stop and i cant help the feelings that i have for him. i never felt this way about ne1 ive met n i dont want to find any one else. Whenever my friends try n set me up with sum1 i just find an excuse not too. it's strange but i cant help it n he has told me he feels the same way. Well his mum lives over in the UK so he shud b visiting soon and he said he wants to see me too so hopefully my parents will let me! i'll be heart broken if they dont lol. Any way thought i wud just write to u 2 say that ur not the only 1 who feels that way about sum1 online. I've got on well with a few people online before but none like this. and i cant help feel that we will be 2gether sum day because we are both determined to do so even if it is in a few years time. So if u really feel like ur falling, keep hold of it. Try not to listen to what other people think because at the end of the day only you can live ur life and only u can feel what u feel. Take care x x x