I DON'T *HEART* NYC (m)
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|Mon, 04-28-2003 - 4:55pm|
Guys are dogs. At least the ones I see. Maybe if I lived somewhere where it seems as if all the men aren't perverts. I feel like a piece of meat when I am not walking with Willy.. and considering I am a plus-size girl.. these men want to *super-size* their combo meal.. if you know what I mean. Men make comments as you walk down the street, and stare at you and it sucks. At first, I thought it was an ego boost.. but now it's a pain.
I miss sitting on my porch when I get home from work like I did in Indiana. There people would sit on their porches and it would be so relaxing.. watching the kids play and just enjoying the weather. Where I live, you can't sit on the porch, because you have none. Yeah.. you could sit downstairs on the stoop of the building.. but I don't feel like hanging out with the teenage guys that seem to have had that idea already.
And where do people get the idea that New Yorkers are so nice? They are rude. (Not all of them) but alottttttttttt of them are. Why are you in such a hurry to go somewhere anyways? You are still going to get on the same dang train or bus as me!!! Why do you have to push me trying to pass? Come on!!
Today when I was waiting for the train to come home from work, I saw a guy spit and it stuck on his face (funny as hell, lemmie tell you) and then he wiped it on one of the beams that say what train station you are at. It is something that I lean against every day.. let me say.. what I USED to lean against every day. How gross. I am telling you.. I can't believe half of the city hasn't caught some disease and died by now. Homeless people sleep on the same train benches that you sit on, and they aren't cleaned very often. The same with them sleeping on the train. They do it all the time. One train station that I have to go to on my way home smells like urine so bad. I used to smell fresh cut grass on my way home from work in Indiana, now I smell urine. Now tell me, which would you rather have? And the good thing is, I pay $4 a day to have this grand pleasure. Yippee.
I miss having friends. I miss my old job. I miss my friends at my old job. The ladies at my job had a *ladies night out* on Friday and everyone was talking about the planning of it on Wednesday, and this lady that I thought was my friend was planning it and didn't even ask me to go. I felt like such an outsider. It made me feel about 2 inches tall because I felt as if noone liked me. I asked the lady that was planning it on Wednesday when I found out about it, and she told me that I could go.. and I told her that, thanks but no thanks.. I wouldn't go. IF they would have wanted me there, they would have asked me in the first place. Then later, she told me that they didn't ask me because they didn't think I would go. What?? Come on... I went home and cried so bad the next day (Thursday) at work my eyes were swollen. Thank goodness I wasn't working in that department that day.
I miss having my own friends. I don't want friends that Willy had pre-arranged for me. I don't want to be best friends with his best friends wife. No.. I don't want to hang out with your friends all the time. I want someone that if for some reason, I want to complain and moan about Willy, that won't run and tell and it will get back to Willy. Does that sound bad or what??
Sorry for such a long post. Thanks for being here to let me vent.
P.S. Sorry if YOU *HEART* NYC.. I am just not feeling it today.