???? I don't know if I am too picky???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
???? I don't know if I am too picky???
8
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 9:32pm

Okay- I had a first date with another OLD this afternoon. We met at a local resteraunt and had an early dinner. He wasn't wearing the most flattering shoes... I mean he wasn't dressed to impress if you know what I mean. I don't know if it's b/c he doesn't have good taste in clothes or what... but he was very nice and the conversation flowed and he is extremely funny. I didn't feel a spark, but I am assuming he did, b/c he tried to hold my hand and he also asked me out again. And he has called me twice this evening just to chat. He's not exactly my type, but am I being too picky? Should I try one more date? I just don't want to lead him on.... Plus I don't want to have that uncomfortable conversation about taking it slow... not wanting to rush into anything.. But as an FYI had bachelor no.1 tried any of this last weekend during/after our date... then I would be okay with it. I guess then it's obvious...

So, how do you let them down?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 9:41pm
I would email the standard thanks for the date, but we're not a match. Then I would block his number(s). Rip the bandaid right off, as it were.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 11:56am

I've been on 4 dates with someone (met him through speed dating) with whom I didn't have an immediate spark, but figured that I'd give some time to make sure that I wasn't just being picky.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 12:06pm

<<>>

Just tell him you couldn't get past his shoes.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 12:32pm

That's too funny!!! LOL!

I know that sounds superficial but it's partly the truth... I mean unless he is color blind,....right? Yeah- I think I will give him one more chance. If he wasn't so aggressive- by holding my hand and insisting on like 2 hugs and calling me like three times last night and IMing me when I got home..... it's a little overkill...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 12:38pm

Yeah, the overkill would bug me far more than the shoes - and I'm very much the fashionista.

Give him one more shot - why not? Maybe he was just nervous. And colorblind.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 5:37pm
In this time and era, I think we have to be picky, we are talking about our love life and I personally don't take it lightly. I met someone few months ago, and eventhough he was a sweetheart, treated me very nice, but I could not get past his way of dressing, he looked like a bum and did not smell very nice either, yuk! So eventhough he was goodlooking, sweet, attentive, I did not find him appealing. I personally like a man who at least knows how to dress for the occasion and that has class. I don't want a GQ, but something in the middle, you know what I mean. Besides this guy was shaking when we kissed for the first time, so I did not like his kisses or his lack of confidence. I went out with him 3 times, to give him a chance so to speak, but he flunked the 3 times, I emailed him and wished him the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 6:03pm

yeah- I'm thinking one more time and then that's it. I mean before we met he talked about how he like a woman who knew how to take care of herself and didn't dress like a "hoochie".. and maybe he just has no fashion sense. But it wasn't just the blue shoes, it was also his holding my hand and assuming that was ok with me. That I think is the rub...
Ok- one more time...and then I will probably give him the heave-ho...

I wish bachelor number 1 would get off his shy stick and ask me out again. He calls/emails/or texts each day... I know I should give him the boot too, but he is quite a catch... besides he is just getting his divorce finalized... (oh my gosh, I sound like one of those pathetic girls from that book- He's Just Not That Into You!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 7:36pm

I know we are hung up on the he's not into you book, but think about it, maybe the guy from the book is somewhat right, if I don't like someone very much or I am lukewarm interested it shows, I just don't call or reply right away either on the phone, email, or text. so I am learning that if a guy doesn't pursue me enough, wants to go out with me, calls me, emails me often then that means that he's "somewhat" interested and not much into ME. If you like guy #1 and want to go on more dates with him, just keep being yourself and keep the communication open and if he's really interested, he will ask you out again.

I've been learning the hard way, as of right now I was 'very' much interested in a guy, (by the way, I called him guy #1 too) b/c I end up liking him more than the others. Went out only 3 times, and he was the one that made the initial contact, kept on calling me and he was trying to stay updated on my life for the first 3 weeks. After that, since I saw his interest, I tried to be proactive and then I was the one initiating the contact, a short email, jokes, a quick phone call.. just to ask how he was doing, he would reply like a day after to any of these contacts. I kept thinking to myself, he's too busy as he told me he was going to be for the next 6 weeks, so I kept giving him the benefit of the doubt. Well, to make this story short, last time I heard from him was a week ago from yesterday. He had said that eventhough he was "very" busy he was going to make time to meet me during the week and that was last week! I refrained from contacting him at all, and it's today and what... no contact whatsoever, so I have my answer, he wasn't that into me :(

My advice to you, give funny shoes just one more chance, don't waste 3 dates like I did and see if you will find something appealing to hold on to him. Your guy #1, try not to get your hopes up so high and test him to see how interested he really is.

Keep me updated!