"I don't look my age" thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
"I don't look my age" thing
24
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:17am

Hi Ya'll,

Being 48,I get mail from a lot of men over 45 who put out that disclaimer: "I don't look my age". What is Wrong with looking your age? I don't mean Jabba the Hut in a Rip Van Winkle beard, but I DO have a few lines on my face and I do cover the little grey hair I have. I would not trade where I am for Anything.

This, I have found, also ends up being a person who is VERY stuck on appearances and very judgemental of what others are like. Like Hallmark/Insurance man said "all women over 40 look like cardboard boxes"...wow, I was UPset at That one, and should have walked out of the restaurant! (live and learn, I Would now!:) Plus, they often DO look 'good' for their age, but they DO look very near their age.

I avoided putting any reference to looking younger than my years, and would be glad to give my Match profile name here to prove my point. If they Have to point something out that is Obvious, do you all feel that kinda becomes a "pre-red flag"?

What say you?

Truly,
Cupcake

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:25am

I see that all the time, and it really bugs me. What's wrong with being our age? Nothing. Get over it, already!

The ones who say this are usually the ones whose age range search is 18-35.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:29am

I always think to myself, "Let *me* be the judge of that, thank you very much!".

I think it's a silly, silly thing to say, and I generally will skip over profiles with that line in it.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:57am

If they write "I look younger than my age" then you might as well as write "and I don't look anything like my profile photo" --- because assuming they have a photo I'm trusting that they look reasonably close to it.

I've only had one person who didn't look like their photo - and most looked better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:59am

cupcakechic...


As most regular ivillagers know by now....Pianoguy has a problem with the words: AGE and OLD!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 11:12am
Yuck, that was always a pet peeve of mine, too, because I'd get a few guys who were in their late 30's write me and say, "But I look 29."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 11:27am

Hi Cupcake,

When I see in a guy's profile "I look younger than my age" I automatically think he has problems with accepting his age and therefore may have other issues which probably include accepting anyone over 40 who doesn't fit the criteria of being pencil thin, very pretty, and with long hair and big boobs.

When I first stared doing OLD, I met with a couple of guys like that and found them to be very critical people in many aspects of their lives and of the lives of women. They just had an overall feel of not really being happy and accepting of themselves, like they were trying to be someone else. I know I'm generalizing and I'm sure not all of them are like that though.

Now I pass by the ones who comment about looking younger than their age. So in answer to your question, yes it is a red flag for me.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 11:33am
I used to have something about this in my profile because I actually don't look 34. If I buy beer when we're going to the lake (no make up and a ballcap - why when I look my worst, I'll never figure out) I almost always get ID'ed and often enough when I look normal too. I didn't do it out of a vanity thing (well, maybe a little) but I did it more to try to deter the 45+ year old men that contact me (I had one older than my father once and sorry, but ICK). I took it out though after being out here for a while and also realizing that it wasn't doing any good because 1) men don't read the profiles and 2) they try to convince me anyway with some "smmmmooooooth" (dripping sarcasm, here) line of how they are young for their age, yadda, yadda. So now I dislike it even though I was one that used to do it. I realize that in most cases, it is a smokescreen or a sad attempt for an older guy to get an attractive young(er) woman to look at him even if he is far out of her age range criteria.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 11:46am

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Preach it, sistah! I've noticed that too and it's tres annoying. And I find that most of those guys are a tad delusional about their looks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 1:05pm

I think the ones who claim not to look their age are stuck on looks to the exclusion of all else. They don't have the depth to realize age is more than looks -- it's experience, it's growing up in the same context, it's stage of life, it's maturity. I don't want a guy much more than 5 years younger or older than me because he'll be at a different place than I am. At my age of 48, I'm thinking ahead -- I think retiring at about the same time would be a good thing. that may sound awful but it's practical.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 2:14pm

Sometimes I have seen women write (paraphrasing): "Even though I'm 48, I seem to have more in common with guys 10 to 15 years younger than me."

What these women don't suspect is that they are merely FWB's.

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