"I don't look my age" thing
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| Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:17am |
Hi Ya'll,
Being 48,I get mail from a lot of men over 45 who put out that disclaimer: "I don't look my age". What is Wrong with looking your age? I don't mean Jabba the Hut in a Rip Van Winkle beard, but I DO have a few lines on my face and I do cover the little grey hair I have. I would not trade where I am for Anything.
This, I have found, also ends up being a person who is VERY stuck on appearances and very judgemental of what others are like. Like Hallmark/Insurance man said "all women over 40 look like cardboard boxes"...wow, I was UPset at That one, and should have walked out of the restaurant! (live and learn, I Would now!:) Plus, they often DO look 'good' for their age, but they DO look very near their age.
I avoided putting any reference to looking younger than my years, and would be glad to give my Match profile name here to prove my point. If they Have to point something out that is Obvious, do you all feel that kinda becomes a "pre-red flag"?
What say you?
Truly,
Cupcake

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EXACTLY! I should have seen this as a red flag in my last guy's profile who ended up ghosting on me. Made a point to state he looked like he was in his twenties and I didn't think much of it at the time. Some people have a "baby face" (actually I do myself, always hated that and am still growing into it) and some just point it out more as a warning as anything else.
Well, my "ghost" signed up at Match with a new profile (some may have read "update on my ghosts" thread) and LOWERED age range he is searching for. He is 36 and I am 38 (he is only a year and a half younger than me) and his age range is now 21 - 33. I am TOO OLD for him now! Hey Cupcake - don't feel bad :)
The funniest thing is "I" actually am the one who looks younger than him! But I would never harp on that fact. I used to work for a cosmetic surgeon and his "professional" opinion was I wouldn't need a face lift until I am 60. The guy I met looks Exactly his age - NOT 10 years younger - I would know after working in that field for over 3 years. I can guess most ages within 3 years.
If he wants to chase the younger set he needs to invest in some Botox! LOL These men are a joke and SO deluded about themselves.
Hi John,
You said, "...What these women don't suspect is that they are merely FWB's..." I'm sure that is the case with some people, but there are guys who are attracted to women somewhat older than they are. Granted if I were to be with a 25 year old, and they do contact me just about every day, it would more than likely be just about sex, which I have participated in in the past and yes it was a great long night of fantastic sex, but hardly anything else in common. What can I talk to them about since they are a totally different generation - my kids' ages!
But I mostly date guys in their later 30's and I am 45 and we get along so well, so usually about 7 or 8 years apart. I am a higher energy person and most guys my age are more into staying home and relaxing, which is fine sometimes, but not all the time! My children are grown and I have more time to devote to being in a relationship and doing things.
The guy I've been seeing for a little over a month now is 37 and we have more in common than my ex who was 3 years older than me. So far the relationship has been progressing really nice. We haven't had sex yet... but I'm so looking forward to it!
Maybe your comment about the 10 to 15 year older range ladies being FWB's to the younger guys may be true, but I don't think it's always true. A good friend of mine is married to a lady who is 18 years older than him and they have been married for 20 years now and still have a great marriage - it just works so well for them. So I can see how women who are older may have things in common with guys somewhat younger... Besides, a lot of women in their 40's look pretty damn good for their age ...
Sunshine
"What is Wrong with looking your age? I don't mean Jabba the Hut in a Rip Van Winkle beard, but I DO have a few lines on my face and I do cover the little grey hair I have. I would not trade where I am for Anything."
I think there are soooo many people who have a general fear of getting older (and looking older). On guy I met through match who was 34 (8 years older than me) said he was happy with the way he looked now and didn't want to change anymore. Uhmmmmm sorry to break it to you but everyone ages no matter how much you work out or eat healthy. This fear of looking older is really unattractive quality.
Hi Y'all,
Amen Up in tha' House! Thanks for all of the great feedback from everyone!!!
And Pianoguy, to answer your question, I have changed (read: matured, I hope!)a bit since I started on OLD; I used to go for the Boy Toy looks, and now I DO pay more attention past the 'salad and crackers' and on to the 'Main Course', of a Man! I feel I have broadened my horizons and my mind where dating, and Whom I might date, is concerned. Change Is good! :)
As for looking my age, I do not think I am your "average" 48 year old per looks; because I am so little and dark-haired, and have good Italian genes, I look Somewhat younger...but Age Is a Calendar Page, and the reality of How old you feel is in your heart and mind!
Some people, men and women, seem to be trying to hide from Father Time with their comments though, and they Must have one of those 'Snow White Magic Mirrors' at Their house, because I see normal "wear and tear", and that is cool with me!(and please, 86 the Glamour Shot photos with the vaseline on the lens!) We can all do our best to fight age, and some are luckier than others, but it is Still gonna come down to WHAT kind of man they are,for me! For all of us, really--heart matters!
Sadly, though, the big cry here in Houston on OLD is that people do NOT look like their photos, or they are using Tres old photographs to hook bait! It is rampant here--what about in y'all's area?
And I Still say that there are lots of men who are just Sure that the Hooters Girl is gonna be showing up on their doorstep this weekend, wings and Extra blue cheese in hand, so Why waste their time with the likes of me?
Their bad; they are missing out on a Turbo good time! :)
Truly,
Cupcake
cupcakechic...
Your comments
Hi Linda,
I really like what you wrote, it truly portrays the way I Do feel about being my age, and being happy with that!
One of my favorite questions to ask a man, maybe on the first date, if we are communicating well and having a good time: "If you could go back to 25 years old,but you could NOT take what you have learned/know With you, would you do it?". We love to chat about this at work, since we range from 22 to 62 there. The answer tells me a lot about the person,and it is often a good indicator of how much they have learned, and how they feel about the journey there! It usually leads to some good laughs and some fun stories about "back in the day", too!
Got to be happy with the "You" ya got!
Truly,
Cupcake
"If you could go back to 25 years old,but you could NOT take what you have learned/know With you, would you do it?"
Which really means you'd be doing the same thing again. I say no.
Lisa
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