I feel naked
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| Mon, 11-27-2006 - 11:52pm |
I'm new to OLD, and I have a myspace page for all the world to see (even the contacts I'm considering are on my Friends page for anyone to see) and now I have a yahoo profile. I've tried searching for myself on myspace and get nothing, so I've done ok with not hooking my page up to my real name, and my profile on yahoo is unsearchable, as of this morning, but I go to work and I feel like everyone KNOWS I'm online dating...I'm worried someone might stumble on one of my profiles. I know I shouldn't care what they think, but my ex works with me, along with all his punk friends and even though I know I'm not doing it because I'm desperate, I don't want them thinking I'm desparate. And I know that if someone finds my profile by accident it means they were online dating too, but I know my ex is suspicious as to why I suddenly have all these dates (I'm really really shy in real life), and he and his friends would be the type to purposefully look for me online, just so they can humiliate me and make themselves feel superior (it's high school all over again with these idiots).
Also, even though I never assume that a guy I'm talking to is only talking to me, I don't want to know about the other girls he's talking to. Likewise, I don't any of these guys to know that I'm talking to other guys. But what if two of the guys know each other? Or what if I mix up the emails or something? Ugh...I'm driving myself nuts with this. When I was talking with this one guy tonight I got off the phone and got on the computer and all the time I was talking to him my yahoo thing said "online now." What if he saw that and he thinks I was playing on yahoo with my other contacts while talking to him?
Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I've got three guys on the line right now: I connect with one intellectually, another spriritually and the third is just really really cute (haven't met that one in person yet, so hopefully he'll be more than just a pretty face).
And now I'm worried that one of the guys will read this post and KNOW it's me. Wow, I think I'm having paranoid delusions.
Is anyone else as crazy as me, and if so, how the heck to I get over this?
