"I forgot I already had plans."

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
"I forgot I already had plans."
13
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 11:01pm
I've mentioned Michael on this board a few times lately...he's the guy I have been very interested in the last couple weeks. Well, yesterday he and I made plans for thursday night (4th date). We chose thursday b/c he had a work conference tuesday and wednesday. He didn't really even sound that excited about getting together which was a turn off. C'mon show a little emotion in your voice. Well, he emailed me this morning and asked if we could do something another night instead. He said he forgot he already had plans. I don't believe him at all... I think he's jerking me around. I think something 'better' came up, probably another date. (Yes, I'm jumping to that conclusion.) I've already had too hard of a time figuring him out and building momentum with this guy. Something was just "off" about him. I just decided at that moment that I'm not really that into him anymore. I replied to him and just said no and that it was time to call it quits.
I just don't have patience for guys jerking me around. If you make a plan then stick to it. Did he really think I was just so into him that I would let him string me along. I've read the book, "He's just not that into you"!! I told my friend this and she's glad I'm not falling into this pattern with guys. I used to puppy-after men I liked. Not anymore.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 2:27pm
Yeah, unfortunately, we often only get a high level view of what the situation is.
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 2:27pm
Good for you! Usually out intuition is right ... & absolutely by NO means woudl I want to go out with someone who it seemed like i was pulling teeth with. Forget it. Save your time for either yourself, or someone better!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 3:17pm

I also know when a guy's "tone" indicates that he is not that interested in seeing me. As one poster indicated, if you were really interested in someone, you would try to work around those "other plans" if that is truly the legitimate reason for rescheduling a date. They would not act like you were a bother--they would make it known that you were a priority.

Most women (myself included) make excuses for men when they are behaving badly, even if it is a 3rd or 4th date. If they do not act like you are that important, it's time to turn the tables somehow. It's important to get across that you are not sitting home waiting for their phone call. If they are decent and not playing games, they should be able to make dates and not cancel with the lame reason this guy gave you.

Once again, it sounds like a guy who had a profile online but maybe is just "not that serious" about online dating. If he met someone else, he should be upfront about that, but 99% of the time they either vanish or they pull some stunt like this one hoping the girl will not pursue them. Waffling men are not very attractive.

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