I got that "feeling"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
I got that "feeling"
29
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:09am

You know the one - the one where the other party (guy, in this case) all of a sudden changes his tune from BEING ALL OVER ME to being all COOLED OFF, like he's met another chick / had another great first meet with someone else. Then what happens is that I get back burnered, and he goes out with me one more time to try and get some, and then when he doesn't, he ghosts.

SO, now that I completely RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS, and I already have a new contact starting up that I am VERY interested in, I honestly feel like DUMPING the frekin jerk BEFORE he gets the opportunity to DUMP ME this time!!!! I TRULY DO! MARK MY WORD, IF I GO OUT WITH THIS DUDE on Thursday night for our "dinner date" as planned, that will be the last I hear from him.

So, ladies and gents, please vote. Do I go with my gut feel on this and dump the dude first? Or sit through Thursday, only to be the dumpeed afterwards.

Note: I *did* like the guy before I got the "feeling". And I'm sure you know that feeling I am talking about.....

JAYME

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:40am

Jayme -

I know that feeling quite well. In fact I'm going through it now. I call it "the worm has turned". It is an awful feeling - at this point I've been through it enough to know that it won't kill me, though. It's on to the next, right? Anyway, I think you should go to dinner, order an expensive cocktail/bottle of wine, an expensive appetizer, and a four pound lobster. When dinner is over, and he starts to get frisky, shake his hand, say "thanks for dinner", turn on your heel and get the heck out of there!!!! And don't look back!

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:51am

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!! Spit my coffee all over my computer screen!!!

OMG! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! OMG I am laughing so frekin hard! I totally was not prepared for that, especially after I started reading....

DAMM, I'm gonna DO IT! I actually think that you have discovered a way to beat the system!!!!!!!!!!!! EXCELLENT!

I'm really gonna do it!!! I'm totally and completely serious! You have totally given me inspiration and such a great new way to approach this! YES!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:58am

p.s. Suddenly this just became much more fun.

thank you for that, SG.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 9:04am
I know that feeling all too well. My last ghost was all over me like a cheap suit in the beginning. I wasn't sure about my feelings at first, but of course as soon as I started to really like him, poof! Ghost City.
The guy I've been seeing for the past 5 weeks is all lovey dovey but I'm much more skeptical this time. I find it really hard to trust anything these dudes say anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 9:07am

<<>>

YOU'VE NAILED my exact feelings and thoughts to the T !!!!!!!

That's exactly where I'm at!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 9:11am
Any time!!!! Enjoy the lobster!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 9:39am

I like Surfergirl's idea of ordering the expensive dinner and then leaving right after dinner - I was LMAO also! At least you are in charge of your feelings now and won't be hurt by him since you recognize what's happening - you are in control! Good luck and let us know what happens!

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 10:24am

OK, let me get this straight. This is a NEW contact that you are going to do this to? A guy that you have never even met is paying for the mistakes of the other guys?

I'm sorry, but as bitter, cynical and jaded as I am these days, I think that is really awful. This guy hasn't done anything to deserve this yet! You are making him pay for the sins of others and that is not right! You might be getting that feeling from him, but don't they all deserve the benefit of the doubt until you meet them? You might have the feeling, but why not go into the date with a positive attitude and see how it goes? If you keep getting these vibes from him, then yes, absolutely do the dumping and move on. But to make him suffer for something he hasn't even really done yet is not right. Besides, if you go into it with that attitude, then that is exactly what you get. Karma can be great or it can be a bi&$%. Take your pick.

I don't mean to come off as being mean, but come on!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 10:31am

NO! NO! NO! I may be good, but I'm not *that* good ;)

No, this would be our first "date". We had a first meet last week, and the guy was, as someone else put it, all over me like an old suit. Is that the right term?

And has been sooo hot for me until two days ago, when I surmise he went on a different first meet with the chick he said he'd been emailing but hadn't met yet. SO, we have this date thing set up for Thursday night, and I've almost lost interest now, because he's been an almost-ghost. Definitely not as into me as last week, nor as much as over the weekend after our first meet last Friday.

I almost half expect him to cancel on me, but if he doesn't, I'm expecting him to ghost after our dinner date Thursday when he doesn't "get some" and realizes that I want to DATE dudes and not SLEEP with dudes (at least until I've known the guy for a (long) while anyway).

JAYME

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 11:02am

city, I hope you will take a little more time to consider the situation in a better light, and not use any revenge tactics. I know it feels good to think them up, but matching what you feel is bad behaviour with more bad behaviour is senseless.

In reading your posts, I see that you aren't in a relationship. You have had one meet for coffee and a first date scheduled. I don't know how a guy can be "all over you" when he's not in the room with you, but I assume you mean email/phone sweet nothings? They are called that for good reason.

While I am sorry for your disappointment in your expectations, I encourage you to learn a lesson all OLDers have to learn: keep control of your expectations in the early dating stages.

He doesn't have be made into a bad guy because his interest in you waned.

amjay




Edited 3/8/2005 11:02 am ET ET by amjay45

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