I got that "feeling"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
I got that "feeling"
29
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:09am

You know the one - the one where the other party (guy, in this case) all of a sudden changes his tune from BEING ALL OVER ME to being all COOLED OFF, like he's met another chick / had another great first meet with someone else. Then what happens is that I get back burnered, and he goes out with me one more time to try and get some, and then when he doesn't, he ghosts.

SO, now that I completely RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS, and I already have a new contact starting up that I am VERY interested in, I honestly feel like DUMPING the frekin jerk BEFORE he gets the opportunity to DUMP ME this time!!!! I TRULY DO! MARK MY WORD, IF I GO OUT WITH THIS DUDE on Thursday night for our "dinner date" as planned, that will be the last I hear from him.

So, ladies and gents, please vote. Do I go with my gut feel on this and dump the dude first? Or sit through Thursday, only to be the dumpeed afterwards.

Note: I *did* like the guy before I got the "feeling". And I'm sure you know that feeling I am talking about.....

JAYME

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 3:04pm
Well I always say never put all your eggs in 1 basket. I know others here don't agree but I date more than 1 person at a time. I don't sleep with more then one person at a time - but I feel that OLD is great for making new friends as well as business contacts so hopefully everybody reading this will think of it that way and not the "other" way. You can always pick a really great place that you've been dying to try out for your dinner date "knowing" that you won't be seeing him again - you've got someone else that your starting things up with anyways. Who cares who does the dumping first - but if it's your ego that may be bruised, simply look at it as a fun night on the town at his expense ;). Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 7:09pm

Hi Jayme,

Let me add, that here in restaurants, martinis are Horribly expensive, and I feel you Need a few at this lobster dinner! Oh, and order dessert too..and when it comes, be too full to eat it, and then ask to take it home! :) prolong the pleasure--for YOU!

This way, you are a lady and can move on and have the high ground! Cool that! Man, do we ALL know that feeling!!! Sucks big air, but it is great when you finally realize that you have found one of the "keys" of OLD--the "pre-dump", Hit 'Em Up Style! I have taken to finding jewelry with keys as the theme, it makes me remember how strong I am! And they look cute, too!

If he decides to act more socially acceptable, then you can go out with him. Ten bucks says the BBD does not work out, and he will be calling you again...Ding! Next!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 7:48pm
what is ROTFLMFAO?
Also, I don't know if any of you thought of this.. Let's say a guy "courts" 5 different women, lets say he is a player.. Isn't it a bit expensive (if he pays every time let's say $70-80)? I don't understand what kind of a kick do they get out of it, why do they do it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:06pm

ROTFLMFAO - Rolling on the floor laughing my f***ing a** off - I believe...

I have no idea what they get from it - but I guess it would get expensive after awhile! I think they just like to feel like they are wanted by so many women - maybe they need constant attention from many women to feel like they are desirable because in reality they have an inferiority complex and low self esteem???

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:32pm

Hi Sunshine,

You hit it Sqaure on its' nasty little head! That is exactly my sentiments on what is going on with these men. They are all so 'what have you done for me in the Last 8 seconds?"!! They have low self-esteem and therefore, need all the 'fuel' they can get to boot up on a daily basis. That fuel consists of attnetion from women, the More women, the better!

Gee...and here I thought people matured as they got Older...silly me!

truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 2:00am

Com'on, you guys are all talking about assumptions. How are you so sure he's cooling off and now thinking all about another chic? If so, I don't think he would even go out with you for "dinner"! Likewise, if you've lost your interest, as you say, simply call it off. It's a waste of time and $$ for both of you. It should be someone that you're still interested in that you go out with, and once you go there and see him, you should forget about all assumptions and just enjoy & see what will happen.

You're a grown up girl, even if he turns out to be a big jerk as you predict, you can accept the rejection and move on, right? I think the best thing you can do is to show him how attractive and pleasant you are to him. Who knows how he perceives it?? If he doesn't notice about it, it's just his loss. Don't worry about the outcome and just enjoy the opportunity. Right at this moment you're playing with your assumption. There's no reason to be so sarcastic, really.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 8:36am

very well said.

thanks! I needed that.

btw, I have been handling rejection pretty darn well! I think perhaps after these two I will have to take a break, maybe take down my profile and edit it for a while.... I think I've just had too many "ghosts" within the past two months. Something like 15. Sort of sick of it - I really came into this looking to find just one person to get to know better and just go out and DO THINGS with..... ugh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 12:49pm

>>I found and selected the Ha Ha "select an emotion" symbol!<<

Be advised that many of us don't see the "emoticons" that are on individual messages, only the one that is on the original message in a thread.

And quit reading too much into things. Just go, have a good time, and see what happens. If you go in honestly thinking "this guy is going to ghost on me" then I predict that's exactly what will happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 3:56pm

Be careful... when he sees what you order, he may ask you to pay your share!!!

Tracy

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