I Know I'm Going To Get Flack for this..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
I Know I'm Going To Get Flack for this..
32
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:24am

but alot of this is true...a person does not have to go to extremes with this, but a little tweaking might go a long way...

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=88119




Edited 11/8/2005 10:24 am ET by cbmroz

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:36am

CB, you know I love ya ;-), but seriously...gag me!

The guy doth protest way too much. There are *plenty* of women who treat men kindly and well, do all the things he talks about, and are still single.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:37am

Mr. Cardio says:

"Its like seriously, they are rejecting me now, not for what I am doing, but just because of their own insecurities.....seriously!"

Sure, hon, whatevery you say. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:52am
Horse pucky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:01am

A lot of this piece had a lot of women bashing retorick. Yes, men and women both should be listened to and treated with compassion and kindness. Either gender shouldn't be so angry that they treat each other badly, but to suggest that it's all the women's fault and that the women's movement caused it is just downright ignorant and reeks of a
1950's
a-- backwards mentality, male egos are fragile, but it shouldn't be so fragile
that boo hoo, he shatters so easily, he needs to grow a pair of balls if he's that fragile! I wouldn't want a man that's so insecure, anyway. Yes, both men and women have been hurt badly by the other and are deffensive as a result. Instead of blaming it on women, lets be for real and make a case for both genders treating each other with more respect and tollerence, that's what it really should be all about.

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:23am

I agree with some points in this article, but in my own case, it isn't the fact that these men fear rejection. I know how to make it plain that I'm interested in a guy and am willing to see him without coming right out and saying "ask me out".

With OLD, I didn't think my expectations were too high. I expect some sort of reasonable communication with online chats & eventual talking on the phone before a meet. However, I've had more than one guy go through the process of chats and even a couple phone calls only to "ghost" on me before we ever get to the meeting stage. I have to wonder what the point is for them unless they only want a "chat buddy". This "ghosting" usually seems to happen about the time I know they realize that I want to meet them or get together. So, that leads me to believe that a big majority of them are in the OLD game for the kicks only. If they were serious about wanting to meet someone, they would show more interest in going out with them and they WOULD ASK to go out.

I've actually had only a couple times in my life where I thought a guy didn't ask me out because he was afraid of rejection. Most of the other times, it was me who felt rejected when they did not ask me but knew I'd go out with them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:59am
I agree. I used to claim I was 100% old fashioned, needed to be chased & pursued – you know what that is my ego talking – throw it out the window in today’s world. If you like a guy ask him out why not? Why wait for the guy to call? As long as your not needy or on the overkill and he responds w/out risk there is no chance. Some guys get caught up in work and don’t think like we do such as wow, that guy I see everday at the coffee shop is a cutie – hey, nothing wrong with stepping up to bat!
 
 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 12:28pm

That was a VERY small part of the article. It was mostly about how women don't treat men kindly and with appreciation...which is BS. I do that with every single man I'm with and so do my friends, and we get buptkas (sp?) in return!!!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 12:45pm
That's the portion my comment applies too. At work - skimmed fast...
 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 1:07pm

"In fact, many men have come to think women don't even like men, because of the way women react to their initial overtures, yet, the women wonder why men aren't asking them out, they're either not saying yes, or they're not sending the signals."

Huh? How can these women say "yes" if they haven't been asked out? If a women doesn't send the signals, she may be just shy, but she's probably not interested. If she reacts with hostility, as the author later suggests, perhaps it's because the overture was rude, highly sexual in content, or otherwise inappropriate.

"One of the rarest qualities to find in a young woman today—at least towards eligible men—was kindness."

Okay so now he's being specific, and referring only to YOUNG women? I wonder if he's also only referring to very attractive women.

"If a woman gives a man what he really needs—genuine interest, understanding, and acceptance of him as he really is, he will ask her out, and keep coming back for more."

It sounds like the author wants a guarantee of understanding and acceptance before she even knows him - how can she know him if he hasn't even asked her out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 1:13pm

Very interesting article - from the standpoint that it is a bunch of hooey. The part that I find the most interesting is the discussion thread that follows. All those guys that are all self-righteous and patting each other on the bum saying "yeah, dude, it's not your fault that the Paris Hilton bimbo look-alike didn't want you! She is just a bee-yotch" yadda, yadda. Whatever! There were a few intelligent posts out there but not many.

And chamey... is that you? :-)

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