I Know I'm Going To Get Flack for this..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
I Know I'm Going To Get Flack for this..
32
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:24am

but alot of this is true...a person does not have to go to extremes with this, but a little tweaking might go a long way...

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=88119




Edited 11/8/2005 10:24 am ET by cbmroz
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 1:50pm

What's most disturbing about this post and several others I've seen is, there are probably some good advice in there but the rest of it is just crap and riddled with poor me attitude that you don't even want to read it.

I've been finding recently especially men in my area, don't try at all. There is no effort put into dating. I had this guy that was interested in me, got my number called me, he lived in Worcester I live in Leominster, literally 20 min drive. I lived too far for him. WHAT??? Apparently if you don't live next door it's too much effort. Not that this applies to all men, but it's so disturbing how little effort some people put into finding someone.

Women and men both make mistakes when dating. But you can't solve everything by blaming everything on one gender. It makes your argument less credible and just sounds more like charlie browns teacher.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 2:00pm

Yeah love the same author of this particular piece who later referred to MOST women as trash so you might as well go for the paris hilton/ice princess one because at least they are attractive.

Yep I'd be taking his advice. Is it no wonder he can't get a date when he refers to women as trash.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 2:05pm

Exactly. That guy seems like an a$$. He also later goes on to say he has a girlfriend who will cook for him and give him BJs in his car. What a woman!! ;-) I decided to go ahead and post myself. Here's what I said:

<

What my main point is that these behaviors from each side are perpetuated by the actions of the other side. The more it goes on, the more frustrating it gets for each side.

Many of the posts I have read out here have made me laugh out loud. You expect your women to treat you with respect but many of the comments make it seem as if you are not willing to do so in return. Most western women are not useless trash. I happen to know a number of intelligent, attractive, fun women who wonder where all the good men have gone.

As for me, I have an MBA, a good job, am intelligent, am told by many people that I am attractive (or hot or a doll or whatever men choose to call me that day), own my own home, can carry on a conversation, actually like football and other sports, and can and will cook. I enjoy giving the man in my life special attention and showing him kindness. Sorry, I am not a hooker so I will not give him a BJ in his car, but if that's what you're looking for, there are plenty of girls who will. But do the intelligent, attractive men that have a lot going for them usually even approach me to even give me a chance to be nice or to be rude to them? No. Again, this is a cyclical, defeatist process. Perhaps if we could all treat each other with more respect and courtesy, this could stop.>>

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 2:14pm
I know, one referred to "most women" as being trash, another said those over the age of 30 are all desperate. etc. I mean how do these men expect to find a decent woman with attitudes like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 3:23pm

I like the fact that you brought up that a lot of men just don't want to make the effort to date. That is what I'm finding out. Not only do they not want to date me, they don't apparently want to date other women either. They are content to work, hang with their hunting or sporting buddies and call that a life. One guy I tried to make things work with eventually told me he just didn't "need a woman". If I didn't know better, it would be much easier to think he was gay, but I'm quite sure that isn't the case.

Secondly, I have some thoughts about OLD and long-distance relationships. I think the majority of us decide to go online simply because there are no eligible, single men where we live. The idea is to connect with and eventually meet eligible men from another part of the state/country or whatever distance you think is manageable. While I personally would think anything more than 100 miles might be too far to manage actually seeing someone, I've corresponded with and/or met at least 3 guys who lived 60 miles or less from me. The issue of distance was brought up (at least in a passing way) with each of these three men. I have to wonder if they lived within the same county, if that would have made any difference. I also kept in mind that the price of gas was extremely high during part of the time that I dated a couple of these men. All of that considered, it seems like a lot of men aren't willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to date someone outside of their comfort zone (or local driving area).

So, if they aren't willing to date someone within a reasonable driving distance, then what is the point of putting up a profile in the first place? If I could have met someone locally, believe me, I wouldn't have ever posted a profile on any dating site. And maybe it's my own distorted view on things, but I see more and more women who ARE willing to make sacrifices in order to meet or date eligible men while the men do damn little to even show that they are interested in dating.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 4:28pm

I'm confused...I go online to meet men IN my community, not long-distance, and so do most of the women I know who do OLD.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 4:46pm

My gut feeling is that ole Kevin probably doesn't have a girlfriend but maybe once got a blowjob in a car.

If this is what the losers of the world have to write to themselves to assuage their hurt feelings for getting ignored by the fairer sex so be it. They might profit by posting real relationship dilemmas on boards and intently reading the advice they receive (like us).

I think women get more out of the dating arena than men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 4:59pm

I do too, but I don't think 20 mins is way out of the norm to date someone, good god it's a 20 min ride down 190 to worcester, I go there all the time for hockey, you would have thought it was Connecticut how this guy acted like he was so put out.

I find it odd. I'll get guys from NH willing to drive, but someone 20 mins down the road in Worcester, considers it much too far to date. HUH?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 5:09pm
If you live in a town of less than 20,000 (like I do and am in no position to move), you can see why you'd be looking outside the city limits or county limits for eligible men to date. If you live in a larger city, that isn't such a big problem.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 5:16pm

I understand that, but why assume as you did in your post that "most" women are doing OLD to meet men who live long-distance from them? I don't think that's true at all.

Sheri