I Know I'm Going To Get Flack for this..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
I Know I'm Going To Get Flack for this..
32
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:24am

but alot of this is true...a person does not have to go to extremes with this, but a little tweaking might go a long way...

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=88119




Edited 11/8/2005 10:24 am ET by cbmroz
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 5:20pm

In the rural mid-west, that seems to be the case. There are more people and more opportunities in bigger cities. Anyone I know who has a profile online (locally) is doing it for the same reasons that I am; you just are not meeting people within the limited population that you live in.

And I'll clarify again that some people are willing to travel across the country to meet someone new. I don't fall into that category, but I have heard of stories where that happened. Some of us aren't able to pick up and move as easily as others.




Edited 11/8/2005 5:22 pm ET by mitsy2
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 8:16pm

I so agree with you. I am a nice person and always upbeat and interested in the guy I am meeting for the first time. I have had some incredibly wonderful first, second and even fifth dates. I sincerely showed interest, undeniably....only to have them ghost on me. I have learned that no matter how good the date goes, you can't possibly get your hopes up. All of the men that have ghosted on me after 3-5 dates have admitted that they have issues stemming from past relationships. They are all in their 40's and unbelievable fragile.

I have, also, found that there is no effort put out on the man's part. Many of the men I have met are so passive and careful. I'm afraid to come on too strong so I show my interest without hounding them....waiting for them to reciprocate.

It gets incredibly frustrating. I can attest that the posted article is most definitely not accurate in many cases.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:11am

That's basically why I'm taking a break from OLD for now. I'm sick of paying almost $20 a month for yahoopersonals and almost $30 for match.com matches when nothing pans out. In fact, there seems to be very few new profiles on Match at all. Same ones continue to pop up in my matches and I only corresponded with one guy from that site and he "ghosted" on me after almost 2 weeks - we never did meet. He lived about 75 miles away, and I can't help but think that he thought that was too far a commute to date someone.

As I TRIED to explain previously, when you live in a rural area, there are virtually NO dating prospects right close to where you live. You almost have to look outside the county or in some other towns in order to meet anyone new. I stay in contact with only one guy I've met from an online service, and he lives 60 miles away and has an on-call job that is 24/7, so there is little time to even see each other. He's going through some changes with his job now, so hopefully he will have more free time at some point, but I'm not going to get any hopes up at this point. All the other meets or correspondence with others ended up being a waste of my time and emotions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 11:03am
This is really not on the thread topic, but I just have to say that I agree with you on your assesment of there being little to no options in a small town. I don't know where you live in the midwest, but I live in a small town in Iowa, and believe me there is nothing! I suppose you could find someone if all you wanted was a warm body, but for those of us that have actual standards...Forget about it! The biggest problem is that everyone is already married, engaged, or otherwise involved. For kicks, the other day, I went on Match.com to see what my options might be if I searched for just 30 miles away from myself, and viola! A whopping 3 guys came up! LOL That's how sad it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 11:09am
Yes, that is what I'm seeing. What part of Iowa are you from? I live within 30 miles of the Iowa line myself. Stay away from a guy who lives near Bloomfield. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 11:46am
Did I tell you that I attended Iowa State?

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:06pm
Southwest Iowa. You must live in IL?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:11pm
Yes. That's very true. You pretty much have two choices. Move or don't date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:32pm
I thought I was the only one in your situation. LOL I've been on Yahoo AND Match and most of my matches are in IL or KY. I'm in Missouri.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 2:12pm
I live in NE Missouri, so I'm close to the Iowa and Illinois lines. Most people who live in larger metro areas don't have a clue how hard it is to meet people where we live. That is one reason OLD SHOULD be a great way to meet people. Although I have gone on quite a few dates (compared to not doing the OLD thing), none have panned out to be a real relationship. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but after 6 months of doing this, I keep thinking that it should be easier than it has been. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and getting nowhere at the moment, so I'm taking a break from it.