I may have a "boyfriend" soon...
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| Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:31am |
Well, I think at some point over the next few weeks, I am gonna have "the talk" with R. I really like him and still want to take it slow, but I am selfish, and I want to be the only person he is seeing. i am prepared to stop seeing other people as well (not that I know or have asked if he is seeing anyone else).
I have not slept with him, and I will not until we are exclusive. I (think) he still has his profile up, but I have not checked, and I don't check, b/c in my eyes, he is a free agent until we determine what we are or are not...
I feel like I still need to spend a little more time with him and am still in the early stages of getting to know him, but I have a growing affection for him. This past weekend he had a pal in town and I was sick, so I didn't see him (though he did invite me out and when he found out I was sick, he checked on me each day), and this weekend, I am having company, too, so I won't see him until Sunday *or* the following weekend at the earliest, as I have a busy week at work.
My point is, this time apart has made me miss him a little, and I find that I am thinking of him a little more fondly. It has been just over a month, and we see eachother 1-2 times per week, due to the fact that I work 24/7, and he lives almost 45 minutes away.
How do I gauge if he is on the same page as me? Also, when do you think a good time is to bring up just dating eachother? I do have a date (with someone else) lined up for Thurs., but it's only 'cause this guy has pursued me relentlessly, and well, R and I are still int he process of getting to know eachother, therefore, haven't determined what we are.
Any adive would be welcomed : )
Thanks in advance.

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I just re-read a response Vexer gave to Pink Daisy over something similar, so maybe Vexer has similar advice (or someone else). A month IS pretty early. I guess I want some sort of assurance that R is not "looking" for someone else.
Like I said, I noticed when we first started dating that he had his profile up and checked messages daily.
I am not sure if he still does, and haven't asked. I kind of don't want him to still be looking. Is that bad?
Gal Blondie
You should probably chill a little and wait and let him initiate 'the talk' - it is a little early. On the other hand, I have found that when guys were serious about me, they let me know that pretty quickly, and I did not sit around wondering or trying to figure out how to approach the issue.
The dating game is a tricky thing and there aren't really any assurances to give - so I would not bother seeking reassurance. Enjoy life, if the guy is right for you, he'll do what he needs to do.
Coolas
I have to agree whit Coolas on this one. If it's the right time you're going to feel it (not wish it) & he's gonna know it & you'll know it too.
Didn't sound harsh at all. I feel totally secure when we are together, and feel like he feels the same. It's just hard during the time we are apart (we see eachother 1 time per week, this week it's 2 'cause I was sick)
So, in the time in between, he is still attentive, I just get impatient.
Thanks again, I will take your advice!
Gal Blondie
Hey, GB! I just realized that you and I were conversing over my Hot & Cold post... it's the same thing for me.
Tread lightly.
Hi Rebecca :)
Thank you for the advice. I went over to his place last night and met his son for the first time...I think I like him even more now. His son is amazing. So sweet, so cute.
ANyhow, patience is not a virtue of mine, but I can wait. I truly think it will be so much more special when he does bring it up anyway. And there really is no need to rush. We are (and have been) developing something really sweet. I am really digging getting to know him.
Anyhow, I also had a sleepover datewhich resulted in no sex. My choice. I decided that until we have "the talk," I am not gonna sleep with him, b/c it means I am not ready yet for that step. I am not a man sharer at all, and am not very patient, but I am enjoying kicking back and not stressing about it anymore.
I just think the fears I have at times are just that, MY fears and insecurities about getting hurt. It takes a while for someone to earn my trust, but once I give it, I like to think I'm an amazing, loyal, supportive girlfriend...
I'm gonna respond to your other post in a sec!
Gal Blondie
You know, yesterday I had this nice long prophetic reply all written up and then my stupid computer froze up and I lost it all!
I loved your response. I totally agree. We tend to definitely want validation. It's just those brief lapses of anxiety between seeing them, cause when I am with him it is so on. The last thing I wonder when I am with him is how he feels...he shows me through his actions. I am going to let him bring up the talk eventually.
I know it will all work out for us all, and I feel like when you are not being pushy or in a rush with a guy, it lets them relaize and think about you on their own. One day they look up at you and think, 'she's so cool, I love this chick.' It just takes patience. I agree though, that it is well worth it!
Thanks for your response.
Gal Blondie
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