I need your 2 cents
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| Wed, 10-18-2006 - 10:50am |
I've been using CraigsList.com recently and have had excellent responses. I've recently been chatting with one of my respondants and have found myself really into him. He claims that he's been busy and that are schedules do not mesh. Which means that we haven't met yet. He's eluded to the fact that I'm the only one he's chatting with and he thinks that he should be the only one that I'm interested in.
My issue is that I've been getting more responses from other people and that I'm not only chatting with him. Should I tell him this? I don't want to risk the friendship that we've established. But I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket and not talk to some potentially great guy friends. And if the one I'm into and I don't ever hook up then I may have passed on some really great guy that I should be with?
Any insight is appreciated,
Impatient OLDer

By all means you should absolutely chat and meet as many guys as you can. You never, EVER want to put all your eggs in one basket.
And you don't have to tell him you're talking to other guys. It's none of his business. Because more than likely, you're NOT the only one he's talking to. He may tell you that, but it's highly doubtful.
Here's my bottom line in this: Do you see a ring on your finger? No? Then procede thusly.
I agree you shouldnt put all your eggs in one basket.
however...i do have some issues with this...when are people going to be happy with the one egg they've found? It seems like that's the dating advice that's always given on these boards..dates lots of people, etc. I'm sorry, but if i've gone on 2 or 3 dates with a guy, have been emailing with him, feel into him, i'm not so sure i want to be dating other people and i know i dont want him to be dating others. If it's just email in the beginning, then fine yes, talk to others. But why do people always feel the need to be dating lots of peopel in the beginning stages?
I agree with you on the subject of people just being happy with the good person they've got. There's far too much talk of "soul mates" and garbage like that - I'm not a believer in all that stuff. If there were such thing, we wouldn't have the divorce rate that we do, would we? And those long marriages that our parents and grandparents have or had didn't just drop out of the sky magically. They take a whole lot of work.
Anyhow, in the OP's case - they haven't even met yet and he's already talking about not seeing other people. That's a big red flag in my book. Maybe it's not a warning sign, maybe it is, but I find it funny to be worrying about who someone is seeing or not when you haven't even met the person yet.
Cross that bridge when you get to it. After a few dates yes... before you've even met, no.
Yeah, I think even if I weren't in touch with other men, I would want number one to think that I was so he wouldn't get too comfortable. And If he asks me outright llike that I would give him the truth outright: Yep, When the time is right, I can commit 100%, but I haven't reached that time with anyone lately.
And no, I don't think there is anything wrong with just seeing one at a time. I think there is something wrong with assuming that just because you are only seeing one guy, you have some sort of exclusive arrangement with him. Key word being Assume. He may have an entirely different perspective on this.
You should definitely be talking to other guys and you should be looking at them as potential dates, not just as potential friends.