I really like him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
I really like him!
4
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 12:56pm

Hey everyone,

Well, I met someone (OLD) for the first time last weekend. He lives about an hour away, in the country, and his vehicle was in the shop, so I drove out. It wasn't instant attraction; he was OK looking and all, but seemed kind of aloof, or nervous, not sure. Anyway, as the evening progressed, I suggested going out, which we did, and after a few martinis, I realized that I was digging him, so I leaned over and kissed him, more and more and confessed that I could tell he was liking me. (He agreed). We had a nice dinner, and then I saw him the next night for New Year's Eve. He made me dinner and then we went to a party. I felt very comfortable. I ended up staying at his place, but no sex, just making out. I woke up the next morning and was kind of disoriented and a little panicked about crashing over there, so I got my things and said I had a lot to do and had to head back. He seemed kind of hurt/surprised I was leaving so hastily, but I seriously had stuff I had to do, also, part of me was scared about how much I am liking him.

So, I took off and then last night I called to see how he was. We chatted and made plans for this upcoming weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. I really like him, and can see this going somewhere.

My question is, how long do you date someone until you are exclusive? How and when do you bring it up? How do you tell if someone is for real? Other guys are asking me out as well, and I am not sure if I should accept, but at the same time, I see that this new guy is still logging into Match as well.

Thoughts???

Gal Blondie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 1:22pm

Hey there...are you the same "gal blondie 101" who used to post on the Breakup board? What happened with you and your ex? I thought you got back together--I don't remember seeing a post that it didn't work out after all? If you'd rather not talk about it on this board (or at all!), that's fine, you can email me through my profile if you like. I was just curious!

In any event, about THIS guy...100 lashes with a wet noodle if you met him at his house as it sounds like you did (but I may have misread that). I'm glad it worked out but PLEASE, for safety's sake...don't do that again.

I prefer to date someone regularly (1-2 times a week) for at least 6-8 weeks before committing to exclusivity. I think it takes at least that long to begin to have an idea of what the other person is really like. Even then, it's a crapshoot, because really, the time frame for the other person's true persona really coming out is more like 4-6 months, but I can't wait that long to have sex ;-) (and I need to be exclusive to have sex). But at least after 6-8 weeks, you have *some* idea of whether the guy keeps his word, whether he's considerate, stuff like that.

So, IMO, *yes*, you should be dating other men.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 2:10pm

Hey Sheri,

Yes, I am the one from the break up board. We tried and it didn't work, and I didn't feel like talking about it. I was really down for a bit, but I am 100% better now, totally over him. It went by fast. But no, I don't mind talking about it.

Thanks for the advice. I am new to this, but that's a good rule of thumb. I scheduled a date with someone else for Thursday as well.

GB

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 2:28pm

Yes, you should continue to date other men! Once you get to the point that you want to be intimate with this guy, then talk about exclusivity.

YG

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 2:37pm

Well, I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out, but you sound good so I'm glad about that.

Good for you to make a date with another guy...keep us posted on how it's going with the whole lot!

Sheri