I Think I Found A Good One!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
I Think I Found A Good One!
11
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 12:20pm

I met a guy online and we've been talking almost every night for an hour or more since last Saturday. We have crazy schedules so we can't meet until this weekend and then probably for nearly 2 weeks again before we can see each other again! Ugh! Anyway, Im trying to be realistic in that we've only seen pictures and may not feel it when we meet. But we sure feel it so far. He sends me the sweetest emails and text messages. I can hear him with his kids when he has them while we're on the phone and he's so sweet. We discovered we know people in common and they're excited for us to meet too. It's nice to find a really good guy after some of my previous dating experiences.I just can't wait until the weekend!!

On a funny note, I was texting him when I was in the McDonald's drive thru this morning and I could see the guy in the car in front of me looking at me. When I pulled up to pay he had paid for me. I was so surprised. I didn't know what to do. I thought of that commercial where that girl left her number so I thought maybe they'd have a number at the next window. I'm such a loser, because I totally snoozed on that one. But I was thinking of someone else so even though I was so flattered and it put a smile on my face, I wasn't feeling it to chase him and flag him down. I'm so mean! I wish I would have who knows. Oh well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2005
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 12:43pm

In my experience, the quicker you meet up, the better. I think the first meeting works best if it's literally just for coffee. It doesn't make any sense to me why some people make this huge deal out of actually meeting you in person. If you just do it at a Starbucks, I can't really see what the risk is.

I remember making this mistake once, and we talked and talked, the girl had such an incredibly sweet voice and everything seemed fine and I liked that she was sooo excited to meet me, then we met up for dinner and it was the longest, most abysmal dinner I ever had. I simply wasn't attracted to her. Admittedly we didn't have the benefit of knowing people in common though; that's a gigantic plus. (The funny thing was, I was SO disappointed meeting her that I called an old gf in the area, spent the rest of the evening with her, and ended up dating again for several months!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 1:37pm

LOL - great story THG.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 3:50pm
cl-looking, congrats on finding what seems to be a nice guy! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 4:18pm

I am so aware, but can't help be hopeful. I'm trying to keep him grounded too.

I'm not sure why it has taken so long to meet aside from my crazy schedule the last week. From our conversations of his dating experiences since his divorce, I think he's just started OLD so I think that's why he's not the lets meet now for coffee like others I've met. We spoke 2 or 3 times before he asked me to meet.

But, I have to say guys that I've met the quickest with and had chemistry fizzled out as quickly as it started so who knows. But I do still prefer to meet quicker. If we don't hit it off maybe I can give him that advice for him moving forward.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:53am
Update - Things are going so well! We continue to communicate every day several times a day and sometimes on the phone all night good thing for free minutes after 9. Have had a few great dates. I'm frustrated and refreshed at the same time of the pace of the relationship. lol. He makes it very clear he wants to take things slow and develop a deep meaningful relationship and he's consistent in every way with that and a perfect gentleman. Still trying to stay grounded and not get carried away, it has real potential, but if it doesn't work out atleast it's not because he's a player like some of the other guys I've met. We've agreed to be exclusive. It's also going slow just because our parenting time schedules don't match up 100%, plus child spring activities are always so hectic, and we both agree on not involving our children unless things are very serious. I think if we really wanted to we could squeeze in a couple hours here and there, but we seem to be keeping dates a bit more formal right now. Just thought I'd update! I lurk on the boards quite a bit and enjoy keeping up with everyone elses experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:10am

It's called Random Acts of Kindness and instead of thinking he left his number you need to pay it forward. It is up to you to keep it going.

We always do it when we go to San Francisco at the toll booths. Pay for the car behind you and see the reaction when they are told. It's the best feeling.

PAY IT FORWARD!!

Cindy

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:51am

What I have learned from experience is that I limit my online and phone contact until we actually meet. I have found once we have met and the chemistry and even the close relationship shifts from the meeting. If we have established this online/phone "bond" then it becomes awkward to back away once either or both of us decide that we were not as close as we thought we were before meeting.

I found that from one date that I had (with a therapist) where we had some fantastic and intimate phone conversations but after the first 15 min of meeting (for dinner) I wanted to get up and leave because what I perceived as her arrogance and judgement of me. I never felt that way with anyone before. I thank god that she offered to pay for her dinner.

Mark

Avatar for k3of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:56am
Wow! How exciting!! It's so nice to hear when things are going so well. It sounds as though you two are doing very well, comunicating openly and are *both* optimistic about what lies ahead. Congrats!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 12:16pm
Thanks! I am talking about the guy I met online. The guy I met at McDonald's turned out to be married and looking for just a physical relationship! I posted a thanks on Craigs List and he contacted me with his car type and a photo so it was him. So I never met him. Atleast he told me up front lol...but his poor wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 1:19pm
I am in the same dillema as you I meet this really great guy on an online dating site and we tallked for 4 hours almost everynight we met this weekend and we seemed to hit it off but I got this sinking feeling that he was thinking I looked different( oh joy a lost cause lol ) but we started to talk ( sort of ) like we did over the phone he was a little distracted by the hocky game lol ( men and hockey I don't get it lol ) but we were going to see a movie but the movie started later so we both went our seperate was and met up later at the theare. I texted him " your a really good looking guy and I would like to get to know you better I hope I did not disapoint lol" ( my exact words ) and he texted back " oh don't be like that I like your personality and I want to hang out with you" and then I met him at the theare where he did not try anything no arm around the shoulder or hands being held ( ok so Im thinking he does not like me that way) he liked the movie ( my choice by the way ) and when we were leaving he gave me a tight hug and that was it I just realy hope he calls me again lol I like him alot we had alot in common and I don't think I could handle another let down lol soo Im going to say to you that I think you did find a good one and don't be worried you and him hit it off over the phone you will hit it off in face to face soo tons of luck
SHygirl243

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