I Think I Found A Good One!
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| Thu, 04-12-2007 - 12:20pm |
I met a guy online and we've been talking almost every night for an hour or more since last Saturday. We have crazy schedules so we can't meet until this weekend and then probably for nearly 2 weeks again before we can see each other again! Ugh! Anyway, Im trying to be realistic in that we've only seen pictures and may not feel it when we meet. But we sure feel it so far. He sends me the sweetest emails and text messages. I can hear him with his kids when he has them while we're on the phone and he's so sweet. We discovered we know people in common and they're excited for us to meet too. It's nice to find a really good guy after some of my previous dating experiences.I just can't wait until the weekend!!
On a funny note, I was texting him when I was in the McDonald's drive thru this morning and I could see the guy in the car in front of me looking at me. When I pulled up to pay he had paid for me. I was so surprised. I didn't know what to do. I thought of that commercial where that girl left her number so I thought maybe they'd have a number at the next window. I'm such a loser, because I totally snoozed on that one. But I was thinking of someone else so even though I was so flattered and it put a smile on my face, I wasn't feeling it to chase him and flag him down. I'm so mean! I wish I would have who knows. Oh well.

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In my experience, the quicker you meet up, the better. I think the first meeting works best if it's literally just for coffee. It doesn't make any sense to me why some people make this huge deal out of actually meeting you in person. If you just do it at a Starbucks, I can't really see what the risk is.
I remember making this mistake once, and we talked and talked, the girl had such an incredibly sweet voice and everything seemed fine and I liked that she was sooo excited to meet me, then we met up for dinner and it was the longest, most abysmal dinner I ever had. I simply wasn't attracted to her. Admittedly we didn't have the benefit of knowing people in common though; that's a gigantic plus. (The funny thing was, I was SO disappointed meeting her that I called an old gf in the area, spent the rest of the evening with her, and ended up dating again for several months!)
LOL - great story THG.
I am so aware, but can't help be hopeful. I'm trying to keep him grounded too.
I'm not sure why it has taken so long to meet aside from my crazy schedule the last week. From our conversations of his dating experiences since his divorce, I think he's just started OLD so I think that's why he's not the lets meet now for coffee like others I've met. We spoke 2 or 3 times before he asked me to meet.
But, I have to say guys that I've met the quickest with and had chemistry fizzled out as quickly as it started so who knows. But I do still prefer to meet quicker. If we don't hit it off maybe I can give him that advice for him moving forward.
It's called Random Acts of Kindness and instead of thinking he left his number you need to pay it forward. It is up to you to keep it going.
We always do it when we go to San Francisco at the toll booths. Pay for the car behind you and see the reaction when they are told. It's the best feeling.
PAY IT FORWARD!!
Cindy
What I have learned from experience is that I limit my online and phone contact until we actually meet. I have found once we have met and the chemistry and even the close relationship shifts from the meeting. If we have established this online/phone "bond" then it becomes awkward to back away once either or both of us decide that we were not as close as we thought we were before meeting.
I found that from one date that I had (with a therapist) where we had some fantastic and intimate phone conversations but after the first 15 min of meeting (for dinner) I wanted to get up and leave because what I perceived as her arrogance and judgement of me. I never felt that way with anyone before. I thank god that she offered to pay for her dinner.
Mark
SHygirl243
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