I think I love him... oh boy.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
I think I love him... oh boy.....
11
Wed, 03-20-2013 - 9:18pm

I met this guy on a dating website who possessed all the red flags for me not to get involved with him.  1) he is still friends with his ex and 2) he is from Europe and confessed he needs a green card.  At first I didn't care because I just fell so hard for him.   He has a "baby face" that I can't get out of my mind. I still thought of him even when I was dating someone else (but that didn't last)!  

So the green card guy and I remained friends and then became friends with benefits.  He is from Europe and sees his family once a year. For some crazy reason he prefers to live in the USA apart from his family.  IDK know why, but anyway......  he does construction, you know since he can't get any other kind of job without an American citizenship.  He had lost his job but quickly found another one, except now he works 24/7 - well it seems like it.

So the last time I saw him was the week before Christmas. He said he got invited to his friend's house but declined  because he doesn't want to intrude on family time with family that is not his.  I cried when I got home. I just felt so bad for him.  His family usually visits during the summer.

I think I love him because I feel bad for him....  does that make sense?  

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Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Sat, 03-23-2013 - 11:07am

trail-girl wrote:
<p>  However, someone who just met you could say you're lying about your degree too (I mean if you have one)</p>

we're not talking about me --we're talking about a sweet talking Eastern European whose got your head turned completely around on your shoulders. 

Quote:
  And I am totally enjoying his 6-pack.  That's one thing he CAN'T lie about because THAT I can see with my own two eyes</p>

Most Europeans have far less body fat than Americans.  They restrict GMO foods.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Sat, 03-23-2013 - 10:30am

RE:  Has he shown you his master's degree?  He can tell you he's the lost King of Bavaria, too--would that make it true?

You have a point.  All the detailed info he told me he could have read on the internet.  However, someone who just met you could say you're lying about your degree too (I mean if you have one)

RE:  You forgot where he comes from?  Ok.. you can't ask him again where he's from?

I did.  Bratislava

RE: I think he's looking for someone to get a green card off of and if he plays his cards right, he'll use you to extract one and be off on his merry little way. He's learned to use his face to get over on American girls, obviously

Exactly, but it won't be me.  I did try to get back with him after we broke up over the green card thing, but then I got lonely and asked him back.  He really wants children and I don't so we are just friends with benefits.  And I am totally enjoying his 6-pack.  That's one thing he CAN'T lie about because THAT I can see with my own two eyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Sat, 03-23-2013 - 10:25am
My recommendation is to marry him as soon as possible. The quicker you learn a very difficult life lesson, once the inevitable bad reality happens from that decision, the quicker you will learn that love is a lot more than looks and a fantasy story.
 
Sometimes that's the only way people learn and change from it - and the maturity gained from that experience should pay off well for how you date as an adult after that.
Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Fri, 03-22-2013 - 3:46pm

trail-girl wrote:
<p>Europe has prosperous cities, too.  I forget where he comes from exactly,  but I Googled it last year and it's a good country. He earned his Masters degree and was a Physical Education teacher.  He told me all about how he had to pass agility tests to graduate and he told me about his students, etc.  One day he just decided to leave his family.....  I just think it's sad.   Maybe I don't love him but I love the idea of being with him.</p>

Has he shown you his master's degree?  He can tell you he's the lost King of Bavaria, too--would that make it true?

You forgot where he comes from?  Ok.. you can't ask him again where he's from?

I think he's looking for someone to get a green card off of and if he plays his cards right, he'll use you to extract one and be off on his merry little way. He's learned to use his face to get over on American girls, obviously.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 03-22-2013 - 10:51am

I think you have the idea--you love the "idea" of him--he's good looking, I assume he's nice, so it's normal to have some kind of crush on a guy & fantasy of your future life together.  It's fun to think about, just try not to get too carried away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 7:32pm

I'm not going to pine from afar. He already knows I like him.  We dated a month before he confessed about his green card.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 7:29pm

Europe has prosperous cities, too.  I forget where he comes from exactly,  but I Googled it last year and it's a good country. He earned his Masters degree and was a Physical Education teacher.  He told me all about how he had to pass agility tests to graduate and he told me about his students, etc.  One day he just decided to leave his family.....  I just think it's sad.   Maybe I don't love him but I love the idea of being with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 12:14pm

Thinking a guy is cute and feeling sorry for him does not mean that you love him.  And construction people do not work 24/7--they don't usually work at night and weekends cause they have to be paid OT.  So are you going to pine from afar for someone who has no time for you or does he say that he's interested in you too?  And why would he rather be in the US than with his family?  People usually immigrate here, esp. illegally, because they can't find a good job in their home country.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 9:24am

Trail-girl, If you don't mind me asking...what age are you?

Rocklady

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2010
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 8:46am

Why do you think I posted here instead of telling my friends this?  I had to get it off my chest.  Cypress Hill.  If you could see his face your heart will melt too

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