I think I met Casper

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
I think I met Casper
8
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 3:27pm

You know, the friendly ghost?

My long distance friend from the west coast has been silent since Christmas day, when he sent me a warm e-mail saying how much he enjoyed talking to me (however briefly) on Xmas eve and how he looked forward meeting in person in January and hoped we'd have the long conversation we'd not had time for on Xmas Eve "tomorrow or the next day." That was four days ago, and not a peep since then.

I didn't worry about it when he didn't call on the 26th or 27th because I thought he probably had just been too busy to call until it was too late (the time zone thing). But I sort of expected either an e-mail or a phone call yesterday, since he had said he'd call before that. Silence.

This morning, I checked out his profile on yahoo, and he's been "active" within 24 hours, which suggests that even if he hasn't had time to phone or e-mail me, he's had time to look at/communicate with other matches. So the odds are he has ghosted.

No big deal, he was just an e-mail acquaintance and I'm sure I would have had other problems with him besides his voice. Still, it's disappointing because there hasn't been anyone else that seemed like a possible. And I'll never understand how someone can write warmly that they will be in touch and even talk about the date he's looking forward to will suddenly disappear.

But that is OLD.

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 4:18pm

Your posting is interesting.... I can kind of relate.

A guy I've been contacting with through match is slow to respond to me lately, but has time to check his match profile. It's like, are you just wanting to give me your full attention so you wait until you have the chance to call, or what?

It's frustrating sometimes, isn't it?! Sometimes it'd be nice to read minds. (But we're probably better of not being able to, for the most part!) :P

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 4:26pm

Elsa,

Sorry the guy ghosted on you, but it is a common practice with these guys. I just don't understand what in the world they can be thinking...all the talk/emails then they just vanish. Of course, that even happens after several dates with them talking about plans for the next date, then they ghost! Glad to hear that you aren't disappointed, because you didn't have any great expectations....my thoughts too....no expectations and maybe some day I will be surprised! Happy New Year!

Judy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 6:23pm

Hi Pink,

Yeah, it's not like I'm sitting next to the phone or checking my e-mail every minute, but I kind of assume that when someone says s/he is going to call, s/he will either call or e-mail. SO I wonder what's with this guy.

Heck I wasn't looking for a "prince" but does he have to be such a "frog" that he leaps away before we even meet?

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 6:33pm

Hi Judy,

Yeah, it's really weird. We had a really nice talk the day that we first spoke on the phone. I was disconcerted by his voice, but I didn't let on, and when we spoke on Sunday it was all very warm and cheerful and cordial. We were basically playing telephone tag, but it was Christmas Eve, so what do you expect? Then Christmas day this lovely friendly message about how much he'd enjoyed "talking" to me both in e-mail and on the phone, etc. How he wanted to meet me. How he would call. And then silence.

You wonder -- why bother? If he wasn't interested, he didn't need to e-mail me Xmas morning. He could have just ghosted after our brief Xmas Eve conversation.

I am disappointed but not terribly, because this guy was always a long shot. I found him interesting to talk to, but I was never really sure he'd really come to my area and we'd meet. And then I didn't like his voice.

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 7:06pm
Sorry to hear about the ghosting experience but like you said, if you didn't like his voice to begin with and especially with him living far away, it's probably a better idea to meet up with someone new who is in your area. It makes it so much easier to see each other and develop a relationship when you are living near each other. I believe that it's hard enough anyway with how busy life is to establish a relationship even with living close to each other. I wish you more OLD luck in the future and sending some good vibes your way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 7:23pm

Hi Biochic,

Thanks for the good wishes.

I'm certainly not ruling out meeting someone who is in my area -- if only there were someone! ;)

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 8:01pm

May I ask where you're from, Elarisa? Even just the state? Just curious! There doesn't seem to be much in my area, either. :OP But I keep hoping!

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 11:37pm

Hi Pink,

I don't think it's the area I live in so much as my age, weight and level of education that make it hard for me to find a match. I agree, it's very frustrating.

Elsa