I think I'm burned out

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I think I'm burned out
9
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 9:20am
I've hidden my profile on match and I'm taking a break. I do have a 2nd 'meet' with someone this Tuesday, but I'm not getting excited about it. I think it's because when I check his profile on match he's always 'online'. Which makes me think he's into the BBD thing and I'm just another drop in the bucket. I want someone to know that I AM the BBD!!! I'm also tired of feeling that I'm soliciting myself online. I think I'll take March off and try to relax instead of constanting checking to see if anyone has winked, has anyone sent an email, etc. Does that make sense?!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 9:53am

Makes total sense. What's funny is that no one is the BBD. It's a constant quest.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 10:35am

I think it's a good idea to take a break. It can make you crazy, checking for winks and emails all the time. When you get back to it, you will feel fresh again. Question...what's BBD?

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 10:58am
BBD = Bigger and Better Deal
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 10:58am

The bigger, better deal. When newbies realize that it doesn't exist is when OLD becomes just another venue for dating. But too many (I'm guilty as well) get online and think they're gonna find the perfect SO and it takes a while to realize that it ain't gonna happen. So OLD is in a perpetual state of BBD'ing. Plus, I'm sure that us OLDies are gettin' the "you sure been on OLD a long time - what's wrong with you?" stuff. Only happens when others have been on just as long...lol.

Lisa

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 11:03am

BBD = Bigger Better Deal.

I'm starting to question the whole thing too, really, why am I doing this? The time I spend searching profiles & tweaking my own, etc, could be much better spent on getting some more of my OWN act together, getting more organized, taking up new hobbies etc.

donna>> I'm also tired of feeling that I'm soliciting myself online.

I was starting to think about this in terms of business... if you're investing so much in sales & marketing and having little luck, maybe it's time to invest more in development & improving the product! There is ALWAYS room for self-improvement. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 11:04am

Time off will definitely do you good, especially if you do some work on your OLD perspective.

Of course he is still online. You are only dating and haven't done much of that. You should be online as well checking out what is there!

It's nothing personal against you, and it is nothing against your dates if you continue to search and kick some tires before YOU decide you have found a prospective boyfriend. That is what dating is for.

Take care!

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 12:05pm

Thanks for the BBD definition. I like to think of myself as the biggest, bestest deal around, but I guess the guys I really like don't see it that way! ;)

Phoenixmama: I've been thinking the same thing! Why do I spend so much time online working on dating, and worry about dating, when I could be out developing an actual interest! Ha! As for the soliciting thing, I've come to the point where I feel kind of like a piece of meat. Yuck.

Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 1:05pm
In life, I believe attitude is much more important that action. If you have a bad attitude about online dating, it's unlikely you will have a positive outcome. I think it's better to step away from the computer and get busy living life. Do things that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself. Join a gym, take a belly dancing class, go to a museum. Spend time with people who know and love you instead of anonymous people on the internet. When you're feeling really happy with life then you can try again. I've done this before and it always nets much better results.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 7:36pm
thanks for all of the responses. I have been OLDing for about 1 1/2 yrs and I'm just tired. I do think it's time for me and getting myself in shape or at least my house! And the comment about me being the BBD - I was just teasing (but I can still think I am!! LOL)