I think I'm in love with a fantasy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
I think I'm in love with a fantasy
4
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 12:19am

and he's half way across the world! Okay, so I've always had a thing for British guys and so one night when I was suffering from horrid boredom, I was browsing through myspace (which I never do - I always let the guys contact me) and for fun I set my browse location to London. I had no intention of actually connecting with anyone, but I was bored and British things amuse me. For example, I love how they can tack on "really" at the end of almost any sentence and make it work because of the accent. So I found this guy and his profile blew me away, really (tee hee!). And his blogs are so amazing. He drew me right in and I felt as though he were speaking to me from across the table at a restaurant somewhere(ok, so I imagined the accent in my head as I read - maybe that's why?) Besides that, I can totally relate to everything he says. So I contacted him and he readily responded. He said that he can relate to everything I blog about. And I did not even tell him that I related to him in that way, since I didn't want to scare him off on my first email, so it's not like he was just reciprocating what I had said. Since then we've exchanged well over a dozen emails each. We have so many similar views on things and we've gone through similar experiences.

The worst thing is that he occasionally travels to my state on business trips. He hasn't been here for about a year, but I find myself wondering and hoping and...oh, this is not good. Because if I ever do get to meet him there is no way he is going to live up to my fantasy. And he still lives in London - talk about a long distance relationship! And I certainly don't want an email buddy, yet I enjoy "talking" to him so much. Oy, what have I done? Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Should I just stop contacting this guy to save myself the agony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 4:30am

I say "why not?" Yeah, you may never meet, but if its fun for you now, why not?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 6:15am
I agree with Rich...right now your having fun...go with it especially if your enjoying talking to him. You never know what will come of it unless you try and seriously what do you have to loose? Weirder things have happened...if it is meant to be...it will somehow work out....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 11:03am

I'm with the others. Go ahead and have fun. I think fantasies serve an important purpose in our lives. They give us hope and make us feel that life has good things in store for us. The only problem is when we lose sight of the fact that it is a fantasy.

There might be a future for you with this guy, but it is less likely than a future with another guy who may be less charming in blogs but who will be lots closer geographically. Still, the possibility of something happening with this guy exists. So it is not all fantasy.

Even so, keep on looking and keep reminding yourself than until you actually meet in person and spend some time interacting with him in real life (as opposed to just one dinner or weekend together) you won't know him. Remember also that a lot of times guys who enjoy long distance, long-term e-mail relationships are guys who, for some reason or another, don't really want to meet.

(I just had a situation like that, the guy I renamed "Casper" for being such a friendly ghost. God this guy was attractive! And we had so much in common! But he disappeared roughly 10 days before we were supposed to meet. :( )

But so long as you approach it with the awareness that it is a fantasy, you should be okay.

Good luck and have fun!

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 11:26am
Yeah, that sounds great! Keep chatting with him and see what comes of it! :-)