I think I'm too fat to date........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
I think I'm too fat to date........
41
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 7:55am

Seriously. I don't want to put up a profile because of it. I don't want the scathing emails telling me what I already know. I've been going to the gym and watching what I eat but it's gonna be about 6 months before I'm not fat anymore.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I being too hard on myself? Thanks in advance for your input.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 8:02am

If you think you're too fat to date then that is all that you will ever bring to the equation, so you will make it come true and you can then say, "see? I knew I was too fat to date!"

Keep going to the gym; it will make you feel better about yourself no matter how you look.

Plus, you need a very thick skin to do online dating -- even the gorgeous ones have a tough time!

-Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:15am
I am what a lot of men would consider "fat" and I still did online dating.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:32am

What is a "few extra pounds"? To me it's around 10 lbs. or so. I don't think 50 lbs. overweight is "a few extra pounds". I don't necessarily think it's curvaceous either. However, there are plenty of curves from the side.....lol.

Maybe I'll do an experiment and put up brand new pics and see what happens. I think mentioning that you're working on losing weight in the profile would seem like you're not happy with where you're at now, correct?

Congratulations on your relationship, CGUN. I know you, SP, and NGOL are all success stories for now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:49am

<

Correct! And, quite frankly, it's the same as saying, "smoke, but trying to quit". You are sort of promising to change if someone gives you the time of day. Doesn't work that way.

You smoke or you don't, you have quit or you haven't. You are small or you are large.

Great idea of yours, putting up recent pictures. If only everyone would do that!!!

And I need to say this: there is lots of you to love -- get over it! Don't let your looks be the reason you don't get winked at. I tried that, also tried to use my age (46), and then see the pictures of all these good looking board people, some in their 40s, and see that Everyone has difficulty finding their match.

When it comes down to it, knees, you couldn't be happy with someone who didn't love you as you are in the here and now, right?

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:57am

Hi Hon-


I am sorry that you feel that you are too fat to date.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:59am
Oh and a tip for you that I have used...Fitday.com is a site which allows you to record your food and adds up your calories for free.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:00am

<>

I don't even like where I'm at here and now. The thought of being naked in front of anyone makes me nauseous. I am embarrassed and all mirrors are neck level and I don't look in them if they're not. I used to be eye candy and now I'm not. That's what's hard now. I think it's crazy that the way I feel about myself is directly related to the scale. My new boyfriend will be the gym.....lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:02am

Included 3 pictures (recent) - head, full length body, candid.

Follow CGUN's advice on listing yourself truthfully.

I don't think you'll have a problem. I'll never communicate with someone who doesn't have clear photos. If the photos are clearly posed so as to obscure the full body I click out of the profile asap.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:04am
Bodyshots I have are me all in black against a dark background on a motorcycle. That's it. Would you click out of it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:05am
"Technically," a "few extra pounds" is between 5-10, but I always took that option as a tongue-in-cheek way of saying overweight.

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