I think I'm too fat to date........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
I think I'm too fat to date........
41
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 7:55am

Seriously. I don't want to put up a profile because of it. I don't want the scathing emails telling me what I already know. I've been going to the gym and watching what I eat but it's gonna be about 6 months before I'm not fat anymore.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I being too hard on myself? Thanks in advance for your input.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:18am

No - but not because of your body. I'm not a match for Bikers, smokers or Bar Goers and I skip them with the same fervor that I avoid a Porta Potty at the State Fair in the middle of August. You might be surprised at how accepting people are. I'm more interested in a match that's on the ball. I'm not interested in someone who is obese (and if I was into that I'd hang out at Mohegan Sun - the morbidly obese, chain smoker's paradise - and not on Match.com) but have clicked by people who list "a few extra pounds" more because their photo doesn't answer my question of "what do you mean by a few extra".

I still say the hottest photo that I've seen is of someone who was clearly a few extra pounds - but she had a standard set of clear and recent photos. I'm still waiting for her to pop her head back online if she didn't get paired off the first time..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:21am

I would love to see her profile. Is it still up?

The Mohegan Sun reference is so funny and so true. Aren't all casinos like that?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 11:07am

Hmmm...I'm a size 18. I've been doing OLD on and off for about six years now and have NEVER received a "scathing" email about my weight, and while I'm sure I have not gotten as many dates as I might have otherwise due to my weight, I've met plenty of men who did not have an issue with my size.

It's much more about your confidence and attitude than your actual weight. If you don't feel confident as you currently are, you might want to wait until you lose some weight, because OLD takes a LOT of confidence!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 11:29am
It really is all an attitude. Remember my friend that incessantly talks about her new BF? She is probably at least 200 lbs. She let her self image keep her from doing OLD and from looking for guys for a long time b/c of her own self-image. She kept saying things like "Well, I'll do that after I lose 40 pounds" or "Well, before the trip to Vegas, I am going to lose at least 30 pounds so that I can wear this and pick up boys." Well, she never did lose the weight but now she has a boyfriend and is very happy. I think her BF is very accepting of her just the way she is and likes her for WHO she is not what she looks like. Admittedly, often that is difficult to get TO that point, but the right guy is not going to care.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 3:10pm
I'm a size 6 and I know that you get a lot more responses and dates than I do. It's not about the weight. It's about so much more.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 3:51pm

Sometimes, too, it's about being in the right place at the right time.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 4:03pm
That's true too. I've been contacted by men who never come up in my searches. For example, a few days ago I was contacted by a guy who is one year less than my min. age preference. And I'm two years older than his max. age preference. We just both happened to be online at the exact same moment and he saw me. Under

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 7:40pm
If you don't like your shape, hit the gym, run 3 miles, bike every day etc. etc. Do something. Just sitting around and whining wouldn't make anything better. I have things I don't like about myself, too, and I'm determined not to just whine and do nothing - that's my resolution :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 8:33pm
I feel exactly the same way. I have atleast 6 months before I'd be willing to even considering meeting someone and it's really depressing me. i've procrastinated long enough and i'm kicking myself for it now. Hang in there!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 8:40pm
Actually, she IS doing something about it, like going to the gym. She is working hard to get back to a previous weight.