You are welcome for the tips, just my own preferences of course!
I would say the guy you are talking about definitely needs to update his profile! I don't think as many guys as women, realize that having fresh and up to date info on their profiles is so important - ah - probably because most of them don't bother to read the ladies' profiles, so why would they think theirs would be important to update?!!! I am excluding our great guys on here of course ;)
I have found that some of these guys have profiles that are 2 years or older, since what they say about age and that in their descriptive paragraph doesn't match the age listed in their profile that they had entered when they started the site, which does continue to age along with them. Like in the Winter, reading a profile of a guy that says something like: "Now that summer is almost here (dah it's been and gone!), I'd like to meet a lady to spend the summer with and to enjoy the outdoor activites with." That kind of dates it some also. In that case the guy would need to change his seasons I guess!
>>I told him that I had recently met someone who didn't look anythng like his photo and I was prettyshocked and wanted to avoid this.<< That was a great idea Sparkle, sometimes we have to *borrow* other people's experiences some.... very creative - good job! I think you worded it quite nicely and he shouldn't be offended as you were just saying what you thought. You are learning OLD things pretty fast lady! Good job!
Until the face to face - you can't count on anything... Good luck on the meet tomorrow!
You're not an idiot but please do give him a chance. Alot of guys are nervous at first and all they can think of is to talk about themselves. Once the two of you meet I'm sure he'll ask questions about you. Don't build up this anxiety before the date yet. Go and have a great time and see what happens.
Donna is right - don't let that anxiety get to you - just go and meet him tomorrow. Once you get this meeting under your belt, you'll be fine.
Yes, unfortunately many men don't seem to read the ladies' profiles, either that or they have crappy memories and can't remember details about the lady. I'd like to think it's the latter, but believe it's the former.
I remember the first meet I went to, I was so nervous inside, but I looked like a cool and calm cucumber on the outside - I'm good at acting. ;) I psyched myself up while I was sitting there at the coffee shop waiting for the guy to ge there, imagining just what a great catch I was, how any man would love to go out with me, and that I was a confident lady - all of which are true by the way! You just have to remember to smile, breathe, and believe in yourself...
Yep self talk, but the more you believe in yourself and in the characteristics you want to portray, the more they become part of your makeup.
We are what we believe we are and BECOME what we believe we can become. Do you want to be a positive self-confident lady at your meet or come off as unsure and nervous? I would choose the first one.
Oh, about the other guy, AG, responding to your email, I have found that some guys don't get online as much as we do and so if you haven't heard from him, that may be the reason. He might not have read it yet and isn't really ignoring you. So I might just go ahead and call him to set up the Saturday meet as it is already Thursday and you two had agreed that you would call him.
Oh also, about the guy not asking about you, many guys are just not good on the phone but are better in real life. I wouldn't ask him too much about him not asking about you and I'd just let the conversation flow. Give some pauses now and then so that he has the opportunity of asking you some things also. Lawyers are usually quite good at talking! But if at the end of the meet, if he hasn't asked anything about you and has only talked non-stop about himself, I would consider nexting him... JMHO... Try not to overanalyze things beforehand too much - yeah I know easier said than done. ;)
I would wait and see what happened at the first meeting (he may not be good on the phone). And with this guy, I'd also keep his failure to follow through with that first phone call firmly in mind.
Beware the ones that have "I Disease"..." i this" and "i that", and never a question about what you like/do/want!
I also am a bit wary of one who wants to talk Only about me, as I wonder if they are hiding things, or as was said here, they are players and want to 'hit and run' and not leave a lot of evidence behind!
There should be a good balance of conversation; with both parties asking questions and then giving their input. My best dates? those that begin with a ?, and 20 min later, we are Still talking, but the subject has "linked" to the original thread and gone in a great direction! ie, asking about my favorite movies, led us to a fun discussion of famous people we have met or seen in person.
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I really appreciate all your tips.
Hi Sparkle,
You are welcome for the tips, just my own preferences of course!
I would say the guy you are talking about definitely needs to update his profile! I don't think as many guys as women, realize that having fresh and up to date info on their profiles is so important - ah - probably because most of them don't bother to read the ladies' profiles, so why would they think theirs would be important to update?!!! I am excluding our great guys on here of course ;)
I have found that some of these guys have profiles that are 2 years or older, since what they say about age and that in their descriptive paragraph doesn't match the age listed in their profile that they had entered when they started the site, which does continue to age along with them. Like in the Winter, reading a profile of a guy that says something like: "Now that summer is almost here (dah it's been and gone!), I'd like to meet a lady to spend the summer with and to enjoy the outdoor activites with." That kind of dates it some also. In that case the guy would need to change his seasons I guess!
>>I told him that I had recently met someone who didn't look anythng like his photo and I was prettyshocked and wanted to avoid this.<< That was a great idea Sparkle, sometimes we have to *borrow* other people's experiences some.... very creative - good job! I think you worded it quite nicely and he shouldn't be offended as you were just saying what you thought. You are learning OLD things pretty fast lady! Good job!
Until the face to face - you can't count on anything... Good luck on the meet tomorrow!
Sunshine
THanks for the compliment about learning this OLD and doing a good job.
Hi Sparkle,
Donna is right - don't let that anxiety get to you - just go and meet him tomorrow. Once you get this meeting under your belt, you'll be fine.
Yes, unfortunately many men don't seem to read the ladies' profiles, either that or they have crappy memories and can't remember details about the lady. I'd like to think it's the latter, but believe it's the former.
I remember the first meet I went to, I was so nervous inside, but I looked like a cool and calm cucumber on the outside - I'm good at acting. ;) I psyched myself up while I was sitting there at the coffee shop waiting for the guy to ge there, imagining just what a great catch I was, how any man would love to go out with me, and that I was a confident lady - all of which are true by the way! You just have to remember to smile, breathe, and believe in yourself...
Yep self talk, but the more you believe in yourself and in the characteristics you want to portray, the more they become part of your makeup.
We are what we believe we are and BECOME what we believe we can become. Do you want to be a positive self-confident lady at your meet or come off as unsure and nervous? I would choose the first one.
Oh, about the other guy, AG, responding to your email, I have found that some guys don't get online as much as we do and so if you haven't heard from him, that may be the reason. He might not have read it yet and isn't really ignoring you. So I might just go ahead and call him to set up the Saturday meet as it is already Thursday and you two had agreed that you would call him.
Oh also, about the guy not asking about you, many guys are just not good on the phone but are better in real life. I wouldn't ask him too much about him not asking about you and I'd just let the conversation flow. Give some pauses now and then so that he has the opportunity of asking you some things also. Lawyers are usually quite good at talking! But if at the end of the meet, if he hasn't asked anything about you and has only talked non-stop about himself, I would consider nexting him... JMHO... Try not to overanalyze things beforehand too much - yeah I know easier said than done. ;)
Sunshine
I would wait and see what happened at the first meeting (he may not be good on the phone). And with this guy, I'd also keep his failure to follow through with that first phone call firmly in mind.
Sheri
<>
No, but just in case be prepared to order two 40 lbs lobsters – one for you and one to go for Calvin :) as well as a very expensive desert!
Edited 3/24/2005 9:13 pm ET ET by ivos2004
Hi Spark,
Beware the ones that have "I Disease"..." i this" and "i that", and never a question about what you like/do/want!
I also am a bit wary of one who wants to talk Only about me, as I wonder if they are hiding things, or as was said here, they are players and want to 'hit and run' and not leave a lot of evidence behind!
There should be a good balance of conversation; with both parties asking questions and then giving their input. My best dates? those that begin with a ?, and 20 min later, we are Still talking, but the subject has "linked" to the original thread and gone in a great direction! ie, asking about my favorite movies, led us to a fun discussion of famous people we have met or seen in person.
Good luck!
4-1-1 us!
Truly,
Cupcake
Update!!!!
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