I told DBF I am ready to have sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
I told DBF I am ready to have sex
11
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 1:49am

After having a very long talk with my roommate, who has known me for years I realized I was brining my negative past sexual experiences into my relationship with my DBF, which isn't fair to me or him, and had I been a virgin when I met him, or had my first experience been possitive, he and I would have had sex a long time ago. Very suddenly, I just knew, I was ready! I love him I want to be with him and I want to go there with him.

So I told him. He doesn't believe me. And we got into a fight.

Firstly, I sent him a text and asked if he had time- an evening and a morning or a full day to spend with me in the coming weeks. he wnted to know what was up, so I texted him I was ready... And he didn't respond, so I sent him another and said did he want me to speel it out for him??? He said yes, so I did... I wnt to go out to dinner and get dressed up and go to a hotel, you get the gist. he didn't respond. So after like an hour I asked if he didnt believe me and he sent meone of those tsupid happy faces with the tongue sticking out, to which MY thought was, WTH?!

So we get online here tonight and after talking about a slew of other things, his jobfor one-
(he does not think he is going to take teh DC job, but has now been informed-
not offered a position in NY. To which I now see is going to be a continual
problem for us, will he go and when and where?)
And After we finished with that, I repeated that I was ready and blah blah blah. His response? He's going to bed. EXCUSE ME? It took me 7 months of thinking and 5 months of dating to get to teh point where I am confidant of taking taht step with you and YOURE GOING TO BED?! EXCUSE ME?
Then I go into the self-depricating thoughts- he's cheating, he's not attraced to me, he doesn't want to, he wants to break up, he thinks I have a disease, he thinks Im fat...

He keeps "playing" with me. i ask him over and over and tell him over adn over that he is making me upset, I am being serious, i wnt to be with you. he, again, makes the tongue face and says its time for BED.
I tell him you cant play games like this with girls david, they start getting insecure and I say, if you wlak away form this and dont answer me i am going to be thinking all these things(insert self depricating thoughts...lol)
He respond with he likes messing withme and doesnt see why I am so upset.
HELLO!?
I am upset and hurt and my PMS self's first thought I am going to f-ing dump you you a-hole. Realizing this is not exactly a positive thing to say, I refrained...
SO I finally got him to answer me, his response? He half-doesnt believe me and half says, "we'll see". You know how that makes me feel? Like crap. Like, OMG I shouldnt be having sex with this person if this is his response... which i dont want to bethinking.. I dont know, am I right in thinking that? or am i overreacting?

He said we could discuss is further tomorrow, and I could "continue my explainations if I wish" so I asked him how we'd be talking- legitimate question, he's not usually online during the week, did he want me to call him or meet him or what? Then he gets pissed starts swearing at me and says hes been trying ot go to bed for 20mmins and i keep asking him questions. I am thinking, HELLO, you would have been in bed 20 mins ago if you had just answered the friggin question rather than "mess with" me
So know this is MY FAULT? ARGH! and :(
It's not supposed to BE like this!
When I tell him I am relaly ready to make love to him, he's supposed to be excited and happy and plan it with me ( we have always had this master plan of going somewhere dressing up going to dinner dancing and going back to a really nice room, with a spa, balcony etc. We both wanted to make an event of it. We both wanted ti to be somehting special)
Now I am thinking, does he just use me too? Does he not care about me or know me? Why was he so insensitive? Does he just think I am never going to go there with him? I tol dhim I was ready, and that was set in stone for me by saying it. But him acting like this makes me think maybe its a mistake. Maybe he's a jerk too. Maybe he's using me, maybe he's all he oculd get so he just took it.

I am friggin' confused and UPSET.
Somebody help me think.
Am I just overreacting?
Emily

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Thu, 04-21-2005 - 6:17pm

I'd dump him and not look back.

LOSER, He's a totally inconsiderate LOSER.

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