And you were just starting online dating, what advice would you give yourself? What things have you learned that you wish you would have known back when you started?
I remember how naive I was when I started. Figured everyone was actually there to DATE, to meet someone - and *horrors* AVAILABLE to do so.
And the biggest newbie mistake - emailing/IM'ing for TOO LONG, and building that false sense of intimacy/knowing someone.
I wish I had known these simple steps:
Receive wink. Email interest. If he emails back with more interest, suggest meet within the next few days. Meet for no longer than one hour. Take it from there.
Take every thing with a pinch of salt and be prepared to be shocked.resolve to keep your cool no matter what.
I took my OLD board advises to heart and did not email too long etc guess what the guy could have sent in his baby photos for all the resemblance he bore to the photos he posted.(turns out he took them 15yrs ago and was much lighter in weight too) Oh well we live and learn
Use current pictures and don't think you'll find exactly what you're looking for. I remember being so excited to pick out exactly what I wanted among the millions of men who surely must be looking for me too. That initial excitement was quickly replaced by disillusionment.
Take time to get to know him. Friends first. Don't assume you're the only woman he is "getting to know". Don't take rejection personally. Do not introduce the new guy to your family or invite him over too soon. Do not give out personal information/reveal too much about yourself. Do not stay on the phone with him for hours & hours. (Most likely you won't even meet) Seriously, look at any red flags. Go with YOUR GUT FEELINGS!!!! Most important.
I made the biggest mistake ever -- I emailed too long before meeting.
Maybe it was just bad luck on my part, but it was like he was two people. Online, he was smart, funny, charming, straight forward. I developed a huge crush on him. In person, his hesitant manner of speech drove me crazy. He was cheap, locked into a 10-year divorce/custody battle, constantly asked me for legal advice even after I explained patiently, in words of one syllable, that I leave the office behind me after a day of work. He had no redeeming qualities (not even in That Room, wink). Fortunately, he was easy to drop and didn't hang on to me or turn nasty.
Only meet the guys who really interest you and don't bother with the mediocre ones.
Trust your gut instincts.
Don't let the emailing, IMing, or phone conversing go too long before meeting. I try to do it within 2 weeks or so.
Always ask how recent their pics are.
Assume many guys lie about their height.
Do a phone conversation before meeting as that can rule out a guy before you waste your time at a meet.
Don't take it so serious and know that I will not appeal to all men just as they will not all appeal to me either becasue we all have personal preferences such as hair color, body style, etc.
I found that OLD can be a little addicting. Sometimes, the guys are a little desperate. And a lot of them aren't so honest. But if you keep an open mind you may just find a great someone out there. I have been dating a guy for a month this Saturday that I met OLD and he couldn't be a better man. He is honest, gentle, kind and attentive. He has a great family and set of friends. I am not his life, which is nice. We do spend a bit of time together, but that will wear off. Bottom line, it worked for me. For now, I couldn't be happier with the direction of my love life. I would suggest that the moment you know someone isn't right, just drop it all together. Don't think, "well maybe". And remember good on paper doesn't always translate into good in person!
I remember how naive I was when I started. Figured everyone was actually there to DATE, to meet someone - and *horrors* AVAILABLE to do so.
And the biggest newbie mistake - emailing/IM'ing for TOO LONG, and building that false sense of intimacy/knowing someone.
I wish I had known these simple steps:
Receive wink.
Email interest.
If he emails back with more interest, suggest meet within the next few days.
Meet for no longer than one hour.
Take it from there.
Take every thing with a pinch of salt and be prepared to be shocked.resolve to keep your cool no matter what.
I took my OLD board advises to heart and did not email too long etc
guess what the guy could have sent in his baby photos for all the resemblance he bore to the photos he posted.(turns out he took them 15yrs ago and was much lighter in weight too)
Oh well we live and learn
Don't assume you're the only woman he is "getting to know".
Don't take rejection personally.
Do not introduce the new guy to your family or invite him over too soon.
Do not give out personal information/reveal too much about yourself.
Do not stay on the phone with him for hours & hours. (Most likely you won't even meet)
Seriously, look at any red flags. Go with YOUR GUT FEELINGS!!!! Most important.
I made the biggest mistake ever -- I emailed too long before meeting.
Maybe it was just bad luck on my part, but it was like he was two people. Online, he was smart, funny, charming, straight forward. I developed a huge crush on him. In person, his hesitant manner of speech drove me crazy. He was cheap, locked into a 10-year divorce/custody battle, constantly asked me for legal advice even after I explained patiently, in words of one syllable, that I leave the office behind me after a day of work. He had no redeeming qualities (not even in That Room, wink). Fortunately, he was easy to drop and didn't hang on to me or turn nasty.
This is why I strongly urge others to meet asap.
Thanks so much for this great post!!!
Only meet the guys who really interest you and don't bother with the mediocre ones.
Trust your gut instincts.
Don't let the emailing, IMing, or phone conversing go too long before meeting. I try to do it within 2 weeks or so.
Always ask how recent their pics are.
Assume many guys lie about their height.
Do a phone conversation before meeting as that can rule out a guy before you waste your time at a meet.
Don't take it so serious and know that I will not appeal to all men just as they will not all appeal to me either becasue we all have personal preferences such as hair color, body style, etc.
Just have fun with OLD.
****Sunshine