I'm confused by why we pursue......

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
I'm confused by why we pursue......
1
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 8:09pm

I read many posts here about how they posted a profile online to find a "friend" but not a LTR. Or we answer a profile of someone who also indicates they have little time for a relationship but would like a "friend". Sure I know "friend" could be defined sexually but in all truths why do we waste our time and money posting a profile only looking for friends? And then when we find more than that we complicate our lives in an unnecessary way. Maybe I am confused because I know what I want which is a healthy LTR and I would set dating as a priority over other things in my life.

Do we hide behind our profiles to protect ourselves???? I have a friend who met someone online who indicated they weren't looking for a long term relationship and they met in person and hit it off and spend all their free time together but they still label themselves friends and they aren't in a "relationship". This confuses me. Is it an easy way out? My friend is struggling knowing what they are because of what was said at the beginning but recently he has found out that other person has been referring to him as a "boyfriend". At what point did that change and why didn't that person say something to him that it changed??? Why all the games when we are all looking for the same thing? Why hide from the truth???

Any thoughts?

Just me overthinking again.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 5:24pm

That’s an open question with many variable answers that depend on the people involved, where they are in life, the connection they share (which isn’t necessarily a mutual thing) and their interest level. Maybe one likes them but not enough to move to the next level i.e. something is missing.