I'm on e-mail #4..should I move on or..?
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| Fri, 10-21-2005 - 3:39pm |
Okay, I'm pretty sure there is a thread that exists on this topic somewhere on the board but here goes my question..:)
I'm on e-mail #4 with a guy that I have been corresponding with back and forth on OLD.
The last e-mail he wrote was pretty mushy, gushy, and long, and he complimented me all throughout the e-mail (so I can "tell" that he is interested in me). However I'm concerned about the fact that it's e-mail #4 already and he still hasn't asked for my number or real e-mail address. E-mailing back and forth gets old after awhile and is impersonal (wastes time). Should I..
A) Stop all e-mails and move on..NEXT!
B) Write ONE more and make it short, and see if he bothers to write back and finally ask for my number or give me his?
I'm not "sprung" on this guy, but it appears based on what he wrote in his profile that we could be a possible match. Just wanted to know what your opinions were if you had similar experiences with this situation?
Thanks!

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There is a thread down below that says if he hasn't asked you out in 4 emails then move on.
What I do is send an email along the following lines:
"Hi ,
Blah, blah, blah .
I've found I really prefer getting to know someone in person rather than by email. If you'd like to call me and see if it makes sense for us to meet for coffee, my number is XXX-XXXX. Between and on would be a good time to reach me ."
And then if he doesn't call or say anything about meeting in his next email, it's "next!" for him.
Sheri
It would be dumb to ditch a guy because HE didn't ask for a date within a time frame. What's stopping you from asking HIM out? If you're worried that you'll seem too forward (which seems funny to me in this day and age), then just ask if he's interested in meeting for a cup of coffe. What I've said:
I am enjoying our emails very much. It occurs to me, however, that I'm online to meet people. So do you want to?
If anyone resists meeting after that message, then let them go. I am definitely NOT looking for a pen pal. Unfortunately, it seems many men are.
Firstamendment, the fellow you mentioned is very misguided about OLD. It is impossible to really get to know someone without meeting them, I don't care how many emails have gone back and forth.
amjay
I would write him one more email giving him your number and just say you are interested in talking on the phone and don't respond to anymore emails.
I had a guy on eharmony that would write to me at least several times a week, I mentioned talking on the phone once and even gave him my regular email which he ignored both. After a month I just said I'm not doing eharmony anymore, heres my number if you want to meet up and take this in the real world if not good luck. Then after he read the email I closed the match. He never called. I don't want a penpal. We talked a month and there was no steps towards meeting, I'm not on a dating website to meet a penpal that's not what I pay for.
Firstamendment, the fellow you mentioned is very misguided about OLD. It is impossible to really get to know someone without meeting them, I don't care how many emails have gone back and forth.
I didn't really finish the story.
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UPDATE!
I did exactly what you suggested. Thanked him for the last sweet email that he sent and suggested that we talk via phone instead of online because after a while it gets kinda impersonal. So I left him my cell phone number...now his photo is missing, and he never responded nor called. And I know he read that e-mail and logged onto the site because his last visit said it was 24 hours ago.
NEXT! lol
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Guess what? He sent me an e-mail today, apologizing about not calling me because he had to close escrow on his last condo (he's a mortgage consultant) or something along those lines...He asked me if it was okay to call me this evening? In a way, I sort of wish I never gave him my number and I kinda don't want him to call me...What do you think?
Forget him and move on??
By the way, I'm not crazy about him or anything, I don't know him. Just want to make sure I'm doing the OLD thing the right way, and not being too harsh or too easy. :)
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