IM etiquette

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2010
IM etiquette
6
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 10:59am

Instant messaging - Would you ever just log out without saying bye to someone who you had been conversing with if you had respect for and liked that person?

What if your internet failed while you were chatting with someone you liked, wouldn't you at least text them to tell them what happened? Again, if you respected and liked the person.

Would you ever just blow them off with no regard to let them know your internet failed but expect them to be cool with that later when you talk to them again?

These questions are all in regard to a guy I met online but have been dating in person for a while.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2010
In reply to: ivil_d627
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 12:04pm
I agree.
However, he travels every other week for work, and works overnight in IT labs. Sometimes chatting on IM as we're doing other things was sort of like being together in person when we couldn't be. We talked on the phone, too, everyday.
Anyway, now it's moot; We're broken up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
In reply to: ivil_d627
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 11:19pm
Since this is such an issue with you, stop IMing and stop analyzing IMs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2010
In reply to: ivil_d627
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 8:42pm

He was trying to make me think that the problem was as simple as him getting disconnected from the internet. so by posting here I first wanted to see if in simple terms that alone was rude. In other words, I don't think his lie even makes his story better. LOL...he was still avoiding me.

When he and I are getting along everything is fine. So, we do have a bond. But he can't seem to improve this tendency he has and it affects other aspects like a domino effect. I've really had all of his games I can take.

"...passive-aggressive, disrespectful, closed-minded guy who shuts down emotionally rather than dealing with issues head on" <---that overshadows the good times!

He pretty much admitted to me that he lied and apologized to me today, but I know it will just happen again and again. I'm breaking up with him. We have a major incompatibility in our communication styles. He can go find someone else who likes his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: ivil_d627
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 1:52pm
OK, don't you think that was important information to divulge?

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2010
In reply to: ivil_d627
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 1:28pm

Yeah I know what you're saying, but this goes a little deeper than that. What he and I were talking about right before that, I disagreed (completely calmly and respectfully) with him on something that he suggested. He didn't reply to that IM (but he had been talking with me before). I believe he just dropped out of the conversation to avoid replying to me. He has a habit of doing this to me in person too (emotionally disconnecting, being passive aggressive). He completely disengages me and then later lies and manipulates the setting. I honestly think he is lying about getting disconnected from the internet. Given the nature of the relationship and being mid-convo, I think he was just disregarding me, dismissing me on purpose. - I think if he had respect for us, he would let me know right away that he got disconnected and even finish our convo.
Overall I don't think I'm treated very kindly by this person! Anytime I'm not "agreeable" to his ideas or whatever, he treats me like this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: ivil_d627
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 1:07pm

Stuff happens.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo