I'm excited and nervous !! - RL guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I'm excited and nervous !! - RL guy
9
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 10:00pm
There is a guy- in real life -that I've known for close to 10 yrs. He worked for my ex-inlaws and we've become friends. Well, one year after my divorce he called me (he lives 3 hrs away) and said he'd like to visit and take me to dinner. Turns out he's had a crush on me all these years and I kinda felt alittle of that myself, even though I was married. He visited twice that summer. That was two years ago. We talk alot on the phone, he knows about my OLD follies and he tells me about women he goes out with. He's a great friend.(I guess I should also include the fact that we 'did the deed'). Anyway, he's coming to visit me tomorrow!!! Oh my gosh am I nervous. I have cleaned my whole house. I haven't seen him in two yrs! and I'm pretty sure we'll 'you know what' and it's been a really long time. We both agree that we can't be more than friends because he lives 3 hrs away, he's self employed and travels way too much for his job, never married/no kids, and says it would be too awkward explaining seeing each other to my exhusband and my ex inlaws who know him. I can't wait to see him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 10:48pm

Hi Donna,

Well it sounds like there is some kind of connection between the two of you... who cares what the EX inlaws and EX husband think!!!!!!!!! There is a possibility that this could be something good between the two of you - maybe this one is the one that is meant to be! You can't live your life for what your ex inlaws and EX husband think!

If it were to turn into something else, couldn't one of you move? It just sounds to me like it could have some great possibilities if you both wanted it to be like that.

But however it is meant to be - have a super time tomorrow with RL guy!

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 5:05am
omg, we're gonna have to open an online fwb board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 8:33am

Donna,


It sounds to me like you want more. And

Michele
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 8:39am
Well, you already are "more than friends" you are "friends with benefits" which puts a whole new spin on things. You haven't seen him in two years and the fact that you are nervous indicates to me that you do have genuine feelings for this guy and might hope for more than FWB. Just be careful and have fun - don't let your heart get into the mix in a FWB situation with a guy that is both physically and emotionally unavailable!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:29am
sure, more would always be great but he's really too much of a free-spirit type of person. His business takes him to Conn. alot and he says he's found his "soulmate" up there and they're thinking about buying a house (but that was over a year ago, and still nothing). They rarely see each other. I really don't ever see him settling down with anyone. I know going into this that it's just for tonight.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:59am
Hmm, do you really feel comfortable "doing the deed" with someone that claims to have found his soulmate and is (or at least has been) talking about moving in with her even if they do have a relationship where they don't see each other much? Sure, you are both consenting adults and it takes two to tango, but as for me, I would feel kinda crappy sleeping with a guy that had a girlfriend even if it was determined beforehand that all it was is sex. I'm not judging at all, just curious.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 11:17am
I actually do feel comfortable only because I think what he has with this other girl is all talk and no action. I truly never see it happening. She is still 'technically' married and still lives with her husband even though she claims they're divorcing but for tax purposes she staying in their house right now. Personally, the whole situation is strange so for the time being I'm going to enjoy the time he wants to spend with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 11:34am
Wow! Giant cruise ships full of baggage there! OK, I see your point - if she is still married, she's still married even if it is for "tax purposes" (whatever!). Since it does sound like he is pretty much just out there for the fun and not really settling down with anyone (much less his married soulmate) and HE doesn't seem to have an issue with it, it doesn't seem like you should either. Have fun - be careful!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:18pm

Hi Donna,

Yes he does sound like a free spirit, but a fun one to be totally enjoyed!!! As long as you don't see it for more than it is - have a super fantastic night of HOT SEX!!!!! Oh yeah, be very safe also.... ;)

Sunshine