IM protocol/etiquette

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
IM protocol/etiquette
5
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 11:57am
OK. So there is a guy that I have a "date" set up with next week, we met online (sort of) we were briefly involved 12 years ago in college and just got reconnected online, and I aksed if he wanted to have lunch and it went from there.
Anyway, we both have IM and most of the time I feel like I should acknowledge that he is there so I IM "hi" and he replies. Someitmes it becomes a conversation, sometimes it doesn't.
Anyway, today we are both on IM and I feel like I shouldn't always have to initiate. So I am not going to. Is there some kind of protocol to IM? Would it be rude to not IM him? Does it matter?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:01pm
This is one of the many reasons why I hate IM.

 

 

 

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:07pm

I'm with JH...I don't IM with people in the pre-meeting or initial dating phases either for this reason.

What I do is sign in as invisible so I'm not constantly interrupted and so there's not that pressure to always say hi. I actually only have 2-3 people on my buddy list...long-time friends who don't expect me to be constantly IM'ing them just because I'm online.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:09pm
So you think it is best that I refrain from IM altogether?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:16pm

I would...but I never would have started IM'ing with him in the first place. What I would do in your situation (since you're already in the habit of IM'ing each other), is to start signing on as invisible and only IM once every few days.

Sheri

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 3:15pm

I actually love IM, but mostly do it with my friends and pretty irregularly. I've been IMing with one guy off and on for a couple of weeks. I don't really think he's a possibility for me and I don't really care whether or not we meet. I don't check IM constantly so I can't tell you the last time I've seen him online and we did or didn't say hello. I just don't concern myself with it and I recommend you do that as well.

I think IM is fine if you can manage to not pay too much attention to it. I would agree with you that being the one to have to initiate all the time just isn't cool. So don't. In fact, you might even consider deleting his name from your list. That way he can still see you but you can't see him.