"I'm really interested in you...."

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2010
"I'm really interested in you...."
6
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 9:24am

Hi! One local guy that I exchanged a few light emails with on eH was very responsive for a day or so and then he took about 2 days to answer my last email. When he wrote back he had some general reason why it took so long to reply and then he said "I wanted to get a quick note out because I don't want you to think I'm not interested... because I AM interested." I wasn't that into him anyway, so I didn't reply back. He hasn't written back at all either. A couple of days ago, I met someone on eH whom I really like and we have a lot in common. We've had a nice amount of email exchanges (just light stuff), but twice now he has written that he's really interested in me. One time it was just a general comment and the second time he said something like "Sorry if my question was too personal, it's just that I'm really interested in you."

I don't know why I'm running into guys who *tell* me that they're interested in me. You know what I mean? They should show me by just continuing with email and then slowly progressing things, not by specifically telling me that they're interested. Has anyone else run into this? Is it a red flag? Are they trying to subconciously convince themselves of their interest? :) It seems odd to me and wanted to get some opinions. Maybe it's nothing. I'm just not sure.

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 05-30-2010 - 6:52pm

"He's about 250 miles away. He hasn't asked for my number or my email address yet, so we're just using the eH system for emailing."

Are you interested in dating someone so far away? Logistically, it's a long distance relationship if you do date him, and then if you LIKE him, it becomes, "who will move?" If you're into casual dating, then he's not an ideal match because you won't be able to just meet for coffee, it's an ordeal to get TO each other, and then where do you STAY since it's not likely a quick drive.

Do you know if HE is interested in dating someone so far away? He may say he's interested in getting to know you, but does that mean just via online ? It's what, 5 hours difference to drive between you?

It's nice to have someone's interest, but logically dating closer to home is easier to get to KNOW someone and easier on the pocketbook.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Sat, 05-29-2010 - 9:28pm

First of all, there are many impatient, insecure women (and men) who feel that 2 days is taking too long to respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2010
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 2:19pm
Thanks cameragirl! I agree, talk is cheap...actions speak louder than words. I'm big on that. That's why it's been frustrating to have a few guys verbally express the interest, rather than just SHOW ME. We'll see how it goes. I'm still emailing back and forth with the guy that I like. We've been emailing back and forth once or twice a day for about a week now. We don't live in the same state. He's about 250 miles away. He hasn't asked for my number or my email address yet, so we're just using the eH system for emailing. So now I guess it morphs into a new problem... when will he advance things by asking for my number or email address? Funny... online dating sure takes patience. It just seems like we've shared a ton over the past week and it's time to advance things. I kind of like the slow pace and that we're getting to know each other via the eH system. But then I sometimes wonder if it's too slow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 1:26am
They've probably had women tell them, "Oh, I didn't realize you were that interested in me" in the past. They want to make sure you know. Though, I think talk is cheap...actions speak louder than words. I wouldn't say it's a red flag; just keep it in the back of your mind (like it seems you already have), "Okay...he SAYS he's interested...let's see if he follows through."
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2010
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 10:30pm
No, 2 days isn't too long. I was providing some background, but the fact about the 2 days isn't relevant. My point was that guys seem to be verbalizing that they're interested. This seems strange to me, since it will be clear that they're interested simply by communicating with me. I wasn't very interested in the first guy and that's why I didn't reply. But both guys in my example have said "I am very interested in you" (the first guy said it once and the second guy has said it twice now). I'm not big on words. I would rather that they let their actions do the talking. I just wanted to get some input on why some guys are verbalizing that they are interested.


Edited 5/23/2010 11:11 pm ET by limegreen27
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 10:19pm
Two days to reply to an email is too long? I have encountered women who do not respond until a week later. I have learned we all have different timeframes and busy "real" lives that are higher priority so I have been more patient in terms of turnaround response time.