I'm so frustrated right now...
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 01-01-2007 - 3:24pm |
...I could just scream. I just hate dating right now...I hate it!!!!
First the good news--I have managed to not have any contact with the Musician/Athlete for 34 days now...I'm feeling much better now that he's out of my life. That wasn't going anywhere and the occasional fun wasn't worth the pain of knowing that was all he wanted from me, when I wanted more. So yea me for letting that go.
But now I'm frustrated about a guy I've been dating since late August--on and off. He's actually someone who ghosted on me 2 years ago as I think I posted before--but I responded to an ad he had on CL (I didn't know it was him) and he recognized me and apologized for ghosting. We didn't really start seeing each other more regularly until late October--since then we've gone out about every 2-3 weeks and always have a great time. He calls fairly regularly and makes dates with me on just about a weekly basis but then ends up rescheduling them so that it ends up being 2-3 weeks between dates (so his nickname with my friends is now "The Rescheduler", ha). His reasons have seemed legit but I've been feeling that he wasn't all that interested in me because of it. We went out on Fri the 22nd right before I left on my trip and had a lovely evening with lots of making out at the end (he's a great kisser). We exchanged emails while I was away and he even called me where I was staying last Wed night (I didn't have cell service so I gave him the number). But since I emailed him on Thursday saying thanks for calling and I'd be back in town on Sat afternoon...nothing. I'm now feeling like there must be someone else he's seeing who got the call for NYE--so I'm second string, second choice. Of course we are not exclusive so he's not doing anything wrong if he is dating someone else, but I just don't like feeling like I'm on the back burner. Even if there isn't anyone else, I just don't think it's right to feel someone up and then not at least CALL them for NY, ya know, LOL???
I'm just so tired of this. I came downstairs this morning to a text message saying happy new year but it was from the wrong guy (the guy I stopped dating a month or so ago because he wasn't being reliable about planning dates--we're now trying the friends thing). There are 2 guys I had first meets with before the holidays who have expressed interest in getting together again but I'm not as interested in them as I am in The Rescheduler. Oh, and the guy I've been emailing once a week or so since late September who was supposedly moving back here this weekend and who specifically asked me to keep some time open on the 30th to meet him has apparently ghosted--I emailed him yesterday to see what had happened, but nothing.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. One thing I wrote in my journal last night as a NY wish is that 2007 be the year that I stop caring about dating and being in a relationship. It would make my life so much easier if I could let go of that desire. I really do have a great life other than that--why do I want that so badly and why do I keep trying? I honestly feel right now like I want to lose my optimism that a good guy who's right for me really exists--I feel like it's only serving to keep me in pain.
Sheri

Pages
Well, at least your ex is honest about his c-phobia as long as he knows that he may never have the opportunity to be with someone for a lifetime and will always be jumping around from person to person and is ok with that. One of my ex boyfriends is the same way, he keeps jumping from woman to woman.
I couldn't decide whether to put the angry or the sad emoticon because I'm both. The Rescheduler blew me off tonight--when I called him at 5:30 to say, hey what's the deal (because I was going to go to a yoga class if we weren't meeting up or were meeting up later), he says "oh, I'm sorry, I forgot about tonight, I can't do it, my mind's been elsewhere, how about tomorrow night?" I just couldn't even answer I was so upset. I just said, we'll see, I'm going to a yoga class so either call me later or call me tomorrow.
But if/when he calls, I'm going to tell him that I don't want to be the chick he forgets he has a date with. How crappy is that, to be that chick? Oh, I feel so humiliated. How do you FORGET a date? Easy, I guess, if it's with someone you don't care about at all.
On the bright side, the yoga class was good though ;-).
Sheri
I think you should have "other plans" when he does call. Maybe if you somehow let him know that another guy has asked you out, maybe he would get a wake-up call.
I'd still like to send an e-mail to cop guy who has quit calling me & only exchanged some e-mails w/me the other day. However, if I did, he would probably think I was being a bitch & he's "still going to have surgery" and "dealing with court stuff", so it would not make me look good regardless. Silence is probably the best thing from me now. If he doesn't ever call me again, then HE loses, but I'm still upset that another one has apparently bitten the dust in my lousy love life. :(
I was so hoping 2007 would start off better than it has. In the meantime, I'm back on my antidepressants. :0
The ironic thing is, I *did* have a date scheduled for tomorrow night with another guy, but it got rescheduled to Sunday (for a reason that seems legit). But I'd rather just be upfront with this guy (if he does call) and ask him what the deal is. I'm thinking even more strongly that there's someone else in the picture he's more enamored with.
Sorry to hear the cop guy hasn't called--yes, his loss if he doesn't call, but it gets hard to deal with over and over again.
Sheri
Oh that is too bad!!! I am so angry on your behalf.
The guy deserves to be hit on the head with a bat.
If I were in your shoes, I would tell him that you don't think it's a good idea to keep making plans with him because he is obviously too busy to date.
And then I'd go to bed and cry with frustration.
Hang in there. The yoga class was good, and there's a whole year ahead of us for things to get better in.
Elsa
Yes, it does. That is why I'm back on Paxil. I have not felt the need to be on it for quite a while. I was on it after Mark left town, but slowly got to feeling better or dealt with my loss of the relationship a bit better as time went on. I really DID feel like I was ready to meet someone new, and I actually was thinking about Mark less and less by the time I met Wayne (cop guy). I think the combination of Wayne's issues (court dealings, health issues) were taking their toll on him. Add to it that I had reservations all along about just how "over" he was from the ex. My gut isn't telling me that he's back with her, but I think he realized that I would expect frequent contact (which I would if we were even thinking about seeing each other again), and I honestly don't believe he was up to it.
I try very hard not to take things personally but end up feeling bad anyway, and I'm guessing that with all his issues on his plate, he likely would have done this to any woman he might have been talking to or met. I just had hoped that after meeting me, he would have tried a bit harder to secure that 2nd date and not be overtaken by the other stuff going on in his life. I think the other thing that has made this hard to take in is the fact that he had such a narrow list of criteria for what he wanted in a person. Isn't it ironic that I fit all of his criteria AND he seemed quite taken with me when we met. I am not so naive that I couldn't see that he was delighted to see that I actually looked better than my photo and that there truly was some spark there. No doubt about it.
He just dropped the ball after that...quit trying as hard. Maybe he thought he had this one in the bag. I can't read his mind, but I know I deserve better than that. I have refrained from contacting him again, even though I'd like to write an e-mail and give him a piece of my mind. Not going to create bad karma by doing so though. He has to know he's been a butt here. When and if he ever gets his act together, he might call me again, but I'm sure I won't be nearly as thrilled to talk to him as I was before. He's sort of blown that away. I just want a guy who will do what he says he'll do and not bail when he feels like life is getting to him.
Oh my gosh.. I so agree with you on this one <<< just want a guy who will do what he says he'll do and not bail when he feels like life is getting to him.>>> My ex was notorious for this ( one of several reasons why we broke up.) and so is the new guy I'm seeing. How wierd though... he is a cop too!
I just got blown off tonight from the cop and we have been dating now for about a month. I made a post about it. So, I feel your pain.
I have a bad habit of taking things too personally too and also giving too much of my heart to one person early on. I'm trying to correct that by going out with a couple people at the same time, but I guess even that doesn't always keep you from feeling hurt.
Hang in there... The right guy has to be out there for us.
Sheri,
Sorry about the Rescheduler, how disappointing! And you are right - how insulting that he should 'forget'; a little like The Disappearing Act who suggested that if I was *so* interested, I should have called him when it had been 3 weeks since I'd last heard from him!! Bloody cheek, lol!!
Speaking of which, I have a small update of my own; I ran into TDA at the gym on Saturday afternoon, he had just come in from out of town the night before, and I jokingly said that I was still waiting for the text he'd promised me.. He laughed and told me to give him a chance as he'd only just got back, but really, in his last text to me before the holidays, he said he'd contact me the day *I* got back, not the day after he got back, but whateva... No big deal in the grand scheme of things, I suppose.
It's funny, I'd felt quite anxious about hearing from him, but after I saw him on Saturday, something happened and I let it go and wrote him off in a way. Funny when you do that they always get in touch, lol! He texted me last night, again, so funny and clever that I was sucked right back in, lol! We have a date to go out on Thursday - he did text a disclaimer that he has quite a big week work-wise though, so I am cautiously optimistic. Overall, I feel a little on the back foot with this guy because he has blown so hot and so cold.. I'm not convinced that he isn't more about *the chase* than actually making a connection, but I dunno.. We shall see... Will keep you posted.
Coolas
I'll add my own update here. I got home from work Sat. night around 11 p.m. and noticed a message on my machine. Even though it was likely someone from my church group, I had an inkling that it was Wayne, and it was. He sounded a bit like he had his tail between his legs...I don't know, something in his tone of voice. I waited until the next day (yesterday afternoon) to return the call and he was not there, so I left a message. Then, I went about my day and didn't stay around waiting for his call...that was the mistake I had been making before--waiting on the phone to ring. I also went to visit another friend of mine and didn't get home until almost 9:30 last night. I had another message when I got home and I did call right back that time, but the 2nd message said he was working, so I again got his voice mail. He didn't call back.
I had taken the advice of several people who told me to just chill and make no more contact with him until he called me. I guess that paid off in that they were right. Maybe it bugged him that I didn't try to call him again. However, only our answering machines have talked to each other lately. If he's truly interested, he will keep trying. Will keep you posted, but I can tell I'm a lot happier not sitting home and waiting for a guy to call and just doing some other things that I enjoy but had not made time for.
Pages