I'm so frustrated right now...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I'm so frustrated right now...
34
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 3:24pm

...I could just scream. I just hate dating right now...I hate it!!!!

First the good news--I have managed to not have any contact with the Musician/Athlete for 34 days now...I'm feeling much better now that he's out of my life. That wasn't going anywhere and the occasional fun wasn't worth the pain of knowing that was all he wanted from me, when I wanted more. So yea me for letting that go.

But now I'm frustrated about a guy I've been dating since late August--on and off. He's actually someone who ghosted on me 2 years ago as I think I posted before--but I responded to an ad he had on CL (I didn't know it was him) and he recognized me and apologized for ghosting. We didn't really start seeing each other more regularly until late October--since then we've gone out about every 2-3 weeks and always have a great time. He calls fairly regularly and makes dates with me on just about a weekly basis but then ends up rescheduling them so that it ends up being 2-3 weeks between dates (so his nickname with my friends is now "The Rescheduler", ha). His reasons have seemed legit but I've been feeling that he wasn't all that interested in me because of it. We went out on Fri the 22nd right before I left on my trip and had a lovely evening with lots of making out at the end (he's a great kisser). We exchanged emails while I was away and he even called me where I was staying last Wed night (I didn't have cell service so I gave him the number). But since I emailed him on Thursday saying thanks for calling and I'd be back in town on Sat afternoon...nothing. I'm now feeling like there must be someone else he's seeing who got the call for NYE--so I'm second string, second choice. Of course we are not exclusive so he's not doing anything wrong if he is dating someone else, but I just don't like feeling like I'm on the back burner. Even if there isn't anyone else, I just don't think it's right to feel someone up and then not at least CALL them for NY, ya know, LOL???

I'm just so tired of this. I came downstairs this morning to a text message saying happy new year but it was from the wrong guy (the guy I stopped dating a month or so ago because he wasn't being reliable about planning dates--we're now trying the friends thing). There are 2 guys I had first meets with before the holidays who have expressed interest in getting together again but I'm not as interested in them as I am in The Rescheduler. Oh, and the guy I've been emailing once a week or so since late September who was supposedly moving back here this weekend and who specifically asked me to keep some time open on the 30th to meet him has apparently ghosted--I emailed him yesterday to see what had happened, but nothing.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. One thing I wrote in my journal last night as a NY wish is that 2007 be the year that I stop caring about dating and being in a relationship. It would make my life so much easier if I could let go of that desire. I really do have a great life other than that--why do I want that so badly and why do I keep trying? I honestly feel right now like I want to lose my optimism that a good guy who's right for me really exists--I feel like it's only serving to keep me in pain.

Sheri

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 2:22pm
I'm sorry to hear this Sheri, how extremely frustrating. I know you had more hopes for this one and wanted to continue to see how it went. At this point if I were you, I would just let it go. It sounds like he has proven to be inconsistent and unavailable time and time again and it doesn't appear as if this will change. I'm not sure if you've talked to him about it or if you think it's even worth it, just so he knows that what he's doing is not ok and is starting to affect you. You may decide though that he's not worth talking too. Either way I would probably next this guy for sure because it sounds like you are hitting your last straw with him.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 2:29pm

Yeah, at this point I've pretty much decided not to bother with the conversation. He called yesterday to cancel for tomorrow because he has a cold (and he did sound terrible--but I swear the guy gets sick more than anyone I know!), and I just felt like why bother even saying anything at this point. He said he would call when he felt better and I thought to myself, yeah, whatever, dude. I'm thinking he probably just won't call again and right now I'm thinking that would be ok.

I'm having the same feeling about this guy as I did about the last guy who was being wishy-washy about planning dates and getting together after we'd gone out a bunch of times--I need someone who's more excited about me than that!

I answered an ad on CL last night that sounded interesting and we ended up talking on the phone and he asked if he could call me later this week. So we'll see what happens with that and I have a 2nd date planned for tomorrow night with one of the guys I met before the holidays.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 3:13pm
I wish you luck with your new dating prospects. You are making a good decision in remaining emotionally detached from the sickly rescheduler. You do need someone that is more interested in you and who won't have a cold the whole entire time you are together
:-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 4:21am
Errrr! I HATE that guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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